Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjets that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Huy Tran
A lot of people believe that
school
should just focus on teaching students academic Fix the agreement mistake
schools
subjects
for future careers, while
others argue that subjects
such
as music and physical education are also
essential. Two aforementioned opinions will be discussed in the following paragraphs before presenting my personal perspective in the conclusion.
On the one hand, academic learning are
an indispensable part of University,it not only helps us improve our thinking but Correct subject-verb agreement
is
also
our creativity. Furthermore
, academic subject
are very important and Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
nescessary
in every major we choose in collegeCorrect your spelling
necessary
,
because after graduating, these academic skills will help us in Remove the comma
apply
the
future careers. To illustrate, careers Change the word
our
such
as scientific research and accounting will require academic mathematics.
On the other hand
, music and physical education subjects
are indispenable
after every Correct your spelling
indispensable
stressfull
class. Music helps us relax and see life from a different perspective, physical activity helps us increase muscle and body flexibility. Through talent Correct your spelling
stressful
subject
, schools can find talented people and invest in them with skills that are lacking. A recent research conducted at Havard University shows that 69% Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
famous
singers discovered their talent Change preposition
of famous
while
still in school.
In general, academic subjects
and extracurricular subjects
are all important in shaping the future and career of students while
still in school. In my point of view, i
think we should spend more time Change the capitalization
I
to
Change preposition
on
academic
Add an article
the academic
subject
because when you have a vast source of knowledge develop yourself at your own discretion Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
and
have high job opportunities and be trusted by employers. 1 2 3Correct word choice
apply
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite