Some people believe that public celebrations like national days and festivals are a waste of money. They are of the opinion that people should spend money on more important things. Do you agree or disagree? Support your arguments with examples from your own experience.

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Each
country
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is different from another with its national days or
festivals
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. Today most
people
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think that important or not
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
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money
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for
Change preposition
on
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celebrations these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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of special days.
While
Linking Words
a few
people
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support
this
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opinion, others think that
money
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should not be
waste
Wrong verb form
wasted
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. I strongly believe that
money
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spent on these events should not be considered a loss.
T
Correct your spelling
To
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begin with
celebration
Add an article
the celebration
a celebration
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of holidays is the main means of preservation of historical culture and customs. Through
festivals
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, the younger generation can learn more about culture.
In addition
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,
money
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spent during
festivals
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can be used for charitable purposes, allowing individuals to contribute to good causes.
For example
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, the Cold Hands, Hot Hearts festival organized every New Year in Azerbaijan provides food and financial assistance to orphaned children.
On the other hand
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,
festivals
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attract foreign tourists, which has a positive effect on the
country
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's economic situation. So, the special days of each
country
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can be interesting for other nations.
This
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gives the local population the opportunity to connect with other
people
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in their
country
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,
learn
Correct word choice
and learn
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new things, and these acquaintances can be very useful in the future.
In addition
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, some holidays strengthen communication between the young and the older generation.
For example
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, on
Nowruz
Correct article usage
the Nowruz
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holiday,
people
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visit their parents or relatives and celebrate the holiday with them. In conclusion, I would like to note that holding
festivals
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is more important than
money
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for the preservation of national values ​​and traditions.
In addition
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, it is
also
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beneficial for the tourism industry, which can have an economic impact.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, focus on defining your key points. For instance, instead of 'most people', specify who they are or why this matters.
task achievement
Try to ensure grammatical structures are varied and complex where appropriate to demonstrate language control.
coherence cohesion
You structured your essay well, providing a clear introduction and a thoughtful conclusion.
task achievement
Providing examples like the Cold Hands, Hot Hearts festival adds credibility and brings personal perspective to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public celebrations,
  • Foster,
  • National identity,
  • Societal bonds,
  • Cultural heritage,
  • Economic stimulus,
  • Tourism,
  • Revenue,
  • Seasonal employment,
  • Educational opportunities,
  • Tradition,
  • Mental health,
  • Well-being,
  • Misallocation of resources,
  • Public services,
  • Inclusivity,
  • Environmental impact,
  • Littering,
  • Pollution,
  • Carbon footprint,
  • Cost-effective,
  • Community-driven
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