In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

#world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parents’ #absence

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

With today's modern lifestyle , many people are divided into two groups a group that firmly

belief

Replace the word

believes

show examples

that working

parents

are essential

whereas

the other group feel that the absence that

result

Change the verb form

results

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that, is not worth the income that they earn , in

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will be discussing both views including my own. These days many people think that working

parents

are essential because of the high numbers of money they can earn , I firmly believe that the finance and the increasing numbers of everything have increased highly in the past decade or so , addition to that

this

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

made a lot of

parents

step-up their game into finding new jobs or

another sources

Replace the adjective

another source

other sources

show examples

of income , I in

some how

Correct your spelling

somehow

show examples

am biased into picking a side

however

Change the capitalization

show examples

do prefer to be in the neutral side with my opinion. Many

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

feel that their

parents

have

abanden

Correct your spelling

abandoned

abandon

them ,

for example

, when the caregiver goes for almost eight to ten hours a day extra that by itself will

lead

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

a gap between them and some feel it will

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

emotional

need

Fix the agreement mistake

needs

show examples

,there

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

a study done back in 2003 by Patrick Kevin that suggested into trying to include your kids with your daily activities as much as you can because it will help with their emotions , neediness and to make them understand .Yes , I have to work but

Correct your spelling

I'm

not leaving you for good.In conclusion, I truly want to end

this

essay with, it is better to do things in neutral than to pick a side because yes, some feel that the more the caregivers work the more they will be

unavialable

Correct your spelling

unavailable

available

in their

kids

Change noun form

kid's

kids'

show examples

lives

however

, I feel that organizing your time and all will prevent that from

occuring

Correct your spelling

occurring

Submitted by dr.hessahaljalahma on Thu Dec 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. This would improve the logical structure.

task achievement

Ensure that your main points are supported with relevant examples and explanations. You provided a study reference, but more personal or general examples would strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and clearly stating your personal stance.

task achievement

You present a balanced view on the topic, acknowledging the merits of both sides of the argument.

task achievement

Your writing shows a genuine understanding of the issue and attempts to engage with different perspectives.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

298 words

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries, the average life expectancy has been increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations

Some people believe that all children should learn second language from the time they start school, while others believe that it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school. Discuss both views and give Your opinion.

Historical objects and artefacts should be brought back to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal.some people however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

spending money on the conservation of wildlife animals is a waste of resources. This money would be better spent on other more important things. Do you agree?