Big salary is much more important tha job satisfaction

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It is a universal fact that we live in a world where superficial materials tend to be the greatest value, constituting the only thing that men desire to have.

While

money is undoubtedly primordial and important in order for a person to survive, I believe that there are a wide range of different

thinks

Correct your spelling

things

show examples

that play a much more significant role.

Submitted by irene.canavilhas on Thu Dec 19 2024

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This can help illustrate your points more clearly and make them more convincing.

coherence cohesion

In maintaining coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using linking words to enhance the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the task by discussing both sides of the argument, if applicable. This will ensure a comprehensive response.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively sets the scene by outlining the common societal value placed on material wealth.

task achievement

You've clearly stated your position that there are more significant aspects than money in life, which provides a strong thesis for your essay.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is mostly clear, and your essay has a coherent progression of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

61 words

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Big salary is much more important tha job satisfaction

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think that one should plan detailed activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Topic: it is often considered that change is more benefit to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same.Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving hapiness.Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with hapiness.Discuss both views.

Some people think that to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should live in cities, instead of the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?