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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten counties for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the top ten counties for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates a ranking
sysetm
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system
 of the world's top ten most populated
countries
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 sorted in an ascending order ranked by their
electricity
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 production and consumption. Starting with China
in
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is in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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first place with the highest production of electric energy and Utilization, With the US Slightly falling behind in second place, Followed by Russia with a very
noticable
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noticeable
 drop in both creating and using
electricity
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,
Then
Linking Words
 the rest of the
countries
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 follow in order with slight
diffrences
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differences
bigenning
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beginning
 with Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, Germany, And
then
Linking Words
 Korea sporting the
last
Linking Words
 place. Generally, Most
countries
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 produce more
electricity
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 than consume, except Germany
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 has a
slighly
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slightly
 higher rate of consumed energy than produced. Both China and the US have an astronomical demand for
electricity
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 that
differintiates
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differentiates
differentiated
 Them from the rest of the
countries
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, they seem to have a much
less
Fix the agreement mistake
lower
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 demand for electric energy and that probably goes back to the population count of these nations.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, electricity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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