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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time what are the causes of this continue rise? what would be the measures to address the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world #population #humanity #time #continue #measures #address
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Overpopulation is one of the significant issues of the
contemporay
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contemporary
 period. There are several reasons which are contributing to the increased amount of
population
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 including the advancement in the field of medical science,
lack
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and lack
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 of awareness in utilizing birth control
measures
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. In order to keep the earth habitable for
human
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the human
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population
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,
measures
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 need be to taken to address the escalating
population
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 rate.
To begin
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 with, innovation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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medical technologies
such
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 as improved medical care, nutrition and sanitation have caused
the
Correct article usage
a
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 reduction in
the
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apply
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mortality rates, leading to longer life expectancy. The death rates of
the
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apply
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newborn children and pregnant mothers have seen a significant decline in recent years.
Therefore
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, the
population
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 is rising
in
Change preposition
at
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 an increased rate.
Secondly
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,
due to
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 the social stigma, cultural norms and lack of awareness,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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marginalized people are still reluctant to adopt family planning
measures
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 which is affecting the
population
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 rate as well. Religious and societal beliefs
such
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 as using
contraceptive
Fix the agreement mistake
contraceptives
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 might make the almighty
unsatisifed
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unsatisfied
is
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in
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 promoting large
families
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.
Additonally
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Additionally
, the people of marginalized
families
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 tend to have more children as they believe that only the sons will be taking their
responsiblity
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responsibility
 at old age. In order to reduce
tand
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and
 maintain the world
population
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, several
measures
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 need to be taken.
Firstly
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, the government and
policy makers
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policymakers
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 need to contraceptives more
accesible
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accessible
 among
the
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apply
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marginalized communities. The
governement
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government
 can distribute free contraceptives and family planning consultation
servies
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services
 among these communities to
enocurage
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encourage
 them to adopt family planning methods.
Furthermore
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, incentives and rewards can be introduced for the small
families
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 to motivate the
families
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 to have less children.
Additonally
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Additionally
, the other stakeholders
such
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 as religious and educational
instituions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 can play a significant role in reducing the
population
Use synonyms
 rates by encouraging sex education and raising awareness.
To sum up
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, increased
population
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 is one of the greatest problems of modern times as it
threats
Verb problem
threatens
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 food safety,
environment
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the environment
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 and
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overall
Correct article usage
the overall
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well being
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well-being
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 of humankind.
Therefore
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, strict
measures
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 need to be taken to tackle
this
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 issue effectively.
Submitted by tanjum.tushi on

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task content advice
The essay effectively addresses the key components of the question, discussing both causes and measures. However, expanding on specific examples could enhance the richness of the response.
coherence advice
Ensure that paragraphs are logically connected, especially when transitioning between different reasons or measures to provide a more seamless flow.
cohesion advice
Provide more varied sentence structures and use linking words to improve cohesion throughout the text.
introduction conclusion highlight
The essay has a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion that succinctly addresses the main points.
task achievement highlight
Relevant causes and solutions are clearly laid out, showing a strong understanding of the topic.
supported main points highlight
The main ideas are supported with explanations of social and cultural factors contributing to population growth.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Population explosion
  • Birth rate
  • Mortality rate
  • Life expectancy
  • Family planning
  • Contraceptive methods
  • Sex education
  • Population control
  • Sustainability
  • Global development
  • Demographic transition
  • Reproductive health
  • Infant mortality
  • Fertility rate
  • Societal norms
  • Educational attainment
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