IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time what are the causes of this continue rise? what would be the measures to address the greatest problem faced by humanity?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Overpopulation is one of the significant issues of the
contemporay
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 period. There are several reasons which are contributing to the increased amount of
population
Use synonyms
 including the advancement in the field of medical science,
lack
Correct word choice
and lack
show examples
 of awareness in utilizing birth control
measures
Use synonyms
. In order to keep the earth habitable for
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
population
Use synonyms
,
measures
Use synonyms
 need be to taken to address the escalating
population
Use synonyms
 rate.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, innovation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical technologies
such
Linking Words
 as improved medical care, nutrition and sanitation have caused
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reduction in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mortality rates, leading to longer life expectancy. The death rates of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newborn children and pregnant mothers have seen a significant decline in recent years.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 is rising
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an increased rate.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the social stigma, cultural norms and lack of awareness,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marginalized people are still reluctant to adopt family planning
measures
Use synonyms
 which is affecting the
population
Use synonyms
 rate as well. Religious and societal beliefs
such
Linking Words
 as using
contraceptive
Fix the agreement mistake
contraceptives
show examples
 might make the almighty
unsatisifed
Correct your spelling
unsatisfied
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 promoting large
families
Use synonyms
.
Additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the people of marginalized
families
Use synonyms
 tend to have more children as they believe that only the sons will be taking their
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 at old age. In order to reduce
tand
Correct your spelling
and
 maintain the world
population
Use synonyms
, several
measures
Use synonyms
 need to be taken.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government and
policy makers
Correct your spelling
policymakers
show examples
 need to contraceptives more
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
 among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marginalized communities. The
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 can distribute free contraceptives and family planning consultation
servies
Correct your spelling
services
 among these communities to
enocurage
Correct your spelling
encourage
 them to adopt family planning methods.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, incentives and rewards can be introduced for the small
families
Use synonyms
 to motivate the
families
Use synonyms
 to have less children.
Additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the other stakeholders
such
Linking Words
 as religious and educational
instituions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 can play a significant role in reducing the
population
Use synonyms
 rates by encouraging sex education and raising awareness.
To sum up
Linking Words
, increased
population
Use synonyms
 is one of the greatest problems of modern times as it
threats
Verb problem
threatens
show examples
 food safety,
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
 of humankind.
Therefore
Linking Words
, strict
measures
Use synonyms
 need to be taken to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue effectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task content advice
The essay effectively addresses the key components of the question, discussing both causes and measures. However, expanding on specific examples could enhance the richness of the response.
coherence advice
Ensure that paragraphs are logically connected, especially when transitioning between different reasons or measures to provide a more seamless flow.
cohesion advice
Provide more varied sentence structures and use linking words to improve cohesion throughout the text.
introduction conclusion highlight
The essay has a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion that succinctly addresses the main points.
task achievement highlight
Relevant causes and solutions are clearly laid out, showing a strong understanding of the topic.
supported main points highlight
The main ideas are supported with explanations of social and cultural factors contributing to population growth.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Population explosion
  • Birth rate
  • Mortality rate
  • Life expectancy
  • Family planning
  • Contraceptive methods
  • Sex education
  • Population control
  • Sustainability
  • Global development
  • Demographic transition
  • Reproductive health
  • Infant mortality
  • Fertility rate
  • Societal norms
  • Educational attainment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: