Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #drawings #subjects #school #education

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contemporary

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the contemporary

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era, there is a rise in the significance of some art-related

subjects

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and many individuals argue that they should be mandatory

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the learning system.

While

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adding those

subjects

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may have

the

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apply

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certain drawbacks, that would definitely be very

benefical

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beneficial

for

personal

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the personal

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development of schoolchildren.

To begin

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with,

modern-day

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the modern-day

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education system already has a very complicated and diverse curriculum and extra

subjects

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would mean

additional

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an additional

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burden for teenagers. There are very fundamental and essential

subjects

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such

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as math,language,physics,and more,which need more time and

efford

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effort

required, and young fellows do not only need to study them hard at

shool

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school

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,but

also

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at home. They already carry many projects and

homeworks

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homework

home to deal with after classes.

Hence

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, they can barely find time and energy for other crucial things,

such

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as spending time with their family,socializing with friends,etc.

However

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this

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problem can easily be tackled if they just learn these

subjects

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in class with no extra tasks added to be done later. Despite the small disadvantages,drawing and painting as must-do activities at school can have

huge

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a huge

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positive impact on fostering schoolboys' and schoolgirls' personal growth and cognitive functions. Practising art helps the kids to improve the certain parts of their brains which are responsible for creativity.

Consequently

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this

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side

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site

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enables their potential for not only the mentioned art fields

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apply

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but

also

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for others.

Additionaly

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Additionally

,thanks to

education

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the education

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system, they get the chance to figure out if they have any

talant

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talent

for being an artist that can be

persued

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pursued

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as a career path in the future.

To conclude

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, it may seem unnecessary to include

the

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apply

show examples

new

subjects

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heavy

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the heavy

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school curriculum,but it may have profound benefits in their life since they can either find their dream job, improve a great hoppy for

upcoming

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the upcoming

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years or a way to acquire other related skills.

Submitted by laman.nazarovaa on Fri Dec 20 2024

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task achievement

Add more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and relatable.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs to achieve a smoother progression of ideas. This can be done by enhancing the use of transitions and signposting.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which summarizes the main points effectively.

complete response

The essay presents a balanced view with arguments for both sides, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

artistic expression
communication
self-expression
creativity
critical thinking skills
cultural appreciation
understanding
therapeutic benefits
mental well-being
career opportunities

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Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organizations. Others think that it is practical aid and advice that is needed. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been proved that smoking kills. In some countries it has been made illegal for people to smoke in public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?