IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with colleagues after work and during weekends. Others think it's important to keep the work life completely separate from social life Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #idea #colleagues #work #weekends #life
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There is no denying the fact that social
life
 and friendship
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 a
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 part in human
life
.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that
to keep
Change the verb form
keeping
show examples
 in touch with
work
colleagues
 after
work
 time and at weekends is a nice plan, there is
also
 an argument that opposes
this
idae
Correct your spelling
idea
.
This
 essay will analyse
this
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
socialize
Wrong verb form
socialising
show examples
 with
colleagues
 is a good idea to keep in touch with them.
In other words
, it is nice to enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
friendship which leads to
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 the productivity during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
.
In addition
, spending more time with
colleagues
 might let you
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
discover their personalities and
this
 helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
 know them more deeply, which will
be improve
Change the verb form
improve
show examples
 the way you deal with them during
work
.
For example
,
knows
Wrong verb form
knowing
show examples
 what reasons
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 your partner happy or upset might avoid having troubles in the
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, some people believe it is crucial to separate employment
life
 from social
life
. It is possible to say that do not combine your
life
 with
work
Correct pronoun usage
your work
show examples
life
 try to balance between them.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
socialize
Wrong verb form
socialising
show examples
 with
colleagues
 might not be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 plan for the reason of the
obtecals
Correct your spelling
objects
 that could happen in the relationship, which will harm the
work
.
For instance
, imagine
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
 had a problem with his college after
work
 about
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
, that will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the relationship and will reduce the
prodectivity
Correct your spelling
productivity
. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
 question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that it is better to not combine
work
 with social
life
 to avoid unnecessary obstacles either with
colleaguesor
Correct your spelling
colleagues or
colleagues
 in
work
.
Submitted by abdallah550603 on

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coherence
Try to clarify your main points by organizing them into clear paragraphs which each focus on a single idea. This will make your arguments stronger and easier to follow.
task response
Support your ideas with more specific examples. Use concrete evidence or hypothetical situations to illustrate your points clearly.
coherence
Be careful with language accuracy and spelling, as this can sometimes cause confusion for the reader. Try to review and correct small errors, which might slightly affect coherence.
task response
You have presented both views on the topic and have concluded with your own position, fulfilling the task requirement well.
coherence
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
task response
The discussion of the topic reflects a balanced understanding of both perspectives, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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