Many people, especially young children, watch too much television. Some experts think that this can be dangerous, and that the time would be better spent doing other thing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of watching television?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's era , specifically younger generation
giving
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
more preference to watch
television
Use synonyms
as compared to other age groups . Some experts believe that watching too much
television
Use synonyms
can be harmful for them and that they can utilize
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
in a better
way
Use synonyms
by doing other things . Associated benefits and drawbacks
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
watching
television
Use synonyms
will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs . One of the main advantages of watching
television
Use synonyms
is it is the best
way
Use synonyms
of entertainment .
While
Linking Words
seeing
favourite
Correct pronoun usage
their favourite
show examples
cartoons on
television
Use synonyms
, children can not only enjoy but
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
rewind themselves in a better
way
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, above mentioned factor is a good example of watching
television
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, If a student
doing
Verb problem
is
show examples
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
with the advent of educational
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
on
television
Use synonyms
. They can learn the topic in a better
way
Use synonyms
through Audio-Visual aids .
For Example
Linking Words
:- On
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
television
Use synonyms
, there is the Discovery Channel
while
Linking Words
watching
this
Linking Words
channel , children can get
vast
Add an article
a vast
show examples
amount of knowledge regarding Animal history
as well as
Linking Words
how our ancestors
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the first and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foremost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disadvantage of spending
time
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
television
Use synonyms
is the younger generation would become couch -
potato
Fix the agreement mistake
potatoes
show examples
.They will give more preference to
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
video games on
Tvs
Correct your spelling
TV
rather than going outside to indulge themselves in some physical activities
such
Linking Words
as yoga , playing cricket and so on . Another drawback of watching too much
television
Use synonyms
in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of youngsters is it
negetively
Correct your spelling
negatively
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
their bonding with their parents
as well as
Linking Words
friends .
While
Linking Words
spending their precious
time
Use synonyms
with
televison
Correct your spelling
television
, they will not show any interest in
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
interaction with their loved ones . So , because of
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
their
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
with their near and dear ones
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
faded with the passage of
time
Use synonyms
. In Conclusion ,
Although
Linking Words
there are some advantages of spending
time
Use synonyms
with
television
Use synonyms
because it is a good mode of education
along with
Linking Words
entertainment
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
its drawbacks can not be neglected .
Submitted by hk356645 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider elaborating more on the disadvantages and balancing the explanation with the advantages. This will provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Try improving sentence variety and structure, as this will enhance clarity and engagement for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete structure to your argument. This helps the reader understand your perspective right from the beginning.
task achievement
You have utilized relevant examples such as the Discovery Channel which help to support the points being made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: