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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe teenagers should concentrate on all subjects, even ones they do not enjoy. Others, however, believe that teenagers should only focus on the subjects they are bast at or find most interesting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is a topic of
a
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apply
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great debate
that
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apply
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whether pupils should read all subjects or they must focus only on those which they like. In my
viewpoint
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viewpoint,
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 the latter approach is more beneficial for the students and reasons to support my stance are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, those who advocate that the wards must read everything assert that
this
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 way helps them to become all-rounders in life. In fact, by going through all subjects a youngster could learn all traits and can easily implement all the learnings in their life.
Moreover
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, by exploring all the topics
one
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 can decide which career option he must opt
in
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for in
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future
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.
Thus
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, pupils must read everything, because it
add-ups
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adds up
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 to their all-round development.
On the other hand
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, people who are in favour of the latter view opine that
this
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 approach helps students to concentrate only on useful topics.
For example
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,
like
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in
master's
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a master's
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degree
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degree,
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 people learn and practice only
one
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 subject for a few years, which helps them to become experts
of
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in
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 that particular topic.
Hence
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, their whole focus is in
one
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 direction, which is ultimately useful in the long run.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 way helps them to achieve their
future
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 aspirations. As a matter of fact, if
one
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 is allowed to read his favourite subject only, he may
end-up
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end up
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 achieving his
future
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 goals. To illustrate, I liked Biology during my school days and I pursued reading only it, which helped me to understand a few basic concepts and I
ended-up
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ended up
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 being a doctor.
Therefore
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,
one
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 can easily succeed in the
future
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, if he
focused
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focuses
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 only on
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a
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major subject.
To sum up
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, undoubtedly by going through all the aspects of
school
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the school
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 curriculum
one
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 can become
all-rounder
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an all-rounder
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 but if
one
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 is focused only on
main
Change the article
the main
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 topic, he can concentrate
ina
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in a
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 better way and
moreover
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,
on
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one
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 can fulfil his
future
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 aspirations.

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task achievement
Ensure all points are fully developed and well-supported by examples or evidence. Consider providing more examples or details to reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, create clearer links between paragraphs. Use transitional words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, offering a respectable degree of closure.
task achievement
The essay adequately discusses both views, indicating an understanding of the question and presenting a balanced argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • versatile
  • adaptive
  • critical thinking
  • knowledge base
  • exposure
  • informed decisions
  • specializing
  • expertise
  • motivation
  • engagement
  • performance
  • specialization
  • depth of knowledge
  • academic pursuits
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