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Writing Samples
Band 7

The map below show the layout of a university's sport centre now. and how it wilk look after redevelopment.

The map below show the layout of a university's sport centre now. and how it wilk look after redevelopment.
#show #layout #university #sport #centre #wilk #redevelopment
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The maps illustrate the
sports
Use synonyms
 centre in the university in
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 and plans for the future.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are many changes and additions some facilitation for new
sports
Use synonyms
 and stores
such
Linking Words
 as a dance studio,
pool
Use synonyms
,
sports
Use synonyms
 shop, cafe, and changing
room
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the west and east
sports
Use synonyms
 centre are outdoor courts which will be replaced. In the west there will be built leisure swimming
pool
Use synonyms
 which the students can swim indoors,
while
Linking Words
 in the east the courts will be changed to the
sports
Use synonyms
 hall. Opposite to
sports
Use synonyms
 hall, there are two dance studios for dancing students. New additions for changing
room
Use synonyms
 in the corner of right and left building in the future. At the next entrance will be build
sports
Use synonyms
 shop and cafe.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are unchanged for the future
such
Linking Words
 as reception
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the entrance, swimming
pool
Use synonyms
, changing
room
Use synonyms
, seating, and gym. In the centre of the building still a 25m
pool
Use synonyms
 followed by a changing
room
Use synonyms
 in the right
pool
Use synonyms
 and seating in the right
pool
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, facilitation for the gym will be redevelopment into a small space for a dance studio.
Submitted by dliyaa on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sports, pool, room with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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