In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
One of the
challengeable
tasks in current societies for parents is breeding their children in Replace the word
challenging
way
that they Add an article
a way
the way
would
be successful and satisfied Wrong verb form
will
of
their life in future. It is Change preposition
in
widely
accepted fact that delivering Correct article usage
a widely
this
message to kids that they can make their aims factual through diligent work has significant positive as well as
negative consequences. in my opinion, effects
of conveying Correct article usage
the effects
this
message to teenager
have more benefits than drawbacks.
One particular advantage is boosting Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
in
children’s confidence. Believing that effort can lead to success intensifies enthusiasm in Change preposition
apply
adolescences
. Replace the word
adolescents
This
also
develops positive
mindset and they can believe their abilities. Correct article usage
a positive
For instance
, a child who have
Change the verb form
has
dream
Add an article
a dream
to become
a good singer Change preposition
of becoming
due to
practice,
will approach Remove the comma
apply
to
singing with Change preposition
apply
confident
.
Another significant merit of conveying Replace the word
confidence
this
advice to youth is that it encourages them to set goals and plan for future
. Correct article usage
the future
By instilling
the belief that they can obtain their objective Change preposition
Instilling
due to
industrious working, creates clear
vision of what they want to accomplish. Add an article
a clear
In addition
, having a precise scheme generates ambition in
and Change preposition
apply
incentive
. It induces Fix the agreement mistake
incentives
to
pursue their purpose with determination. Correct pronoun usage
them to
For example
, youngsters with exact schedule
in high school are more susceptible to pursue higher Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
educations
at top universities.
Fix the agreement mistake
education
Nevertheless
, this
issue is not without its downsides.
Some notable cons in this
context are the pressure and stress. This
may follow
by unrealistic expectations of kids who didn’t train to encounter Wrong verb form
be followed
with
difficult circumstances which could have adverse repercussions Change preposition
apply
such
as losing fighting-spirt
and Correct your spelling
fighting spirit
become
slack.
In conclusion, advising juveniles to try hard and make their goals achievable could come to various results. Generally versatile and trained youth are more successful in Wrong verb form
becoming
this
regard.Submitted by mohammadmafi6809 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that every paragraph contributes to the main argument or position, helping to improve coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your argument and to demonstrate task fulfilment.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs in a clearer and more logical manner to enhance the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay directly addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
The examples given help to illustrate the main points, even if they could be more detailed.
coherence cohesion
The structure of having an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is clear.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.