IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #computer #effects #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I agree and
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disagree
dissagree
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disagree
 with the statement, First
speeding
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spending
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 hours on
computer
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the computer
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 can
effect
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affect
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in
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apply
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your focus and prolonged
in
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apply
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screen time can lead to digital
eyes
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eye
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 strain and long time vision eyes and Children can become overly dependent on games or
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social
sochail
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social
 media
witch
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which
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 effect
on
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apply
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their emotional well being
Relaying
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Relying
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 on a keyboard and autocorrect can weaken their handwriting and spelling abilities Video games and
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social
socail
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social
 media can take their attention and stay at home a lot but
on the other
hand
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hand,
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 they can learn from
computer
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computers
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 and
computer
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computers
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 provide vast
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learning
learing
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learning resources
resoursce
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resource
resources
such
a
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as
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book
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books
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,
Video
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Videos
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 and online courses and and
there
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their
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app
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apps
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 can provide
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education
edcuation
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education
 in
fun
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a fun
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 way
And learning
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Learning
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using
useing
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using
 technology prepares
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children
childern
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children
 for the digital workplace and games or
app
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apps
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 require strategic thinking
can
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and can
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 enhance cognitive skills In the end I see parents should look
for
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after
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there
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their
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 children and make
scbedule
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schedule
scheduled
 to use
computer
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the computer
a computer
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 if they want
too
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to
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 and
learn
Verb problem
teach
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 the
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children
childern
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children
 to use
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
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 for online
course
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courses
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 or
activate
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activities
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 rather than nothing
Submitted by Mohammed on

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task achievement
Focus on crafting a clear introduction that outlines your specific stance (agree, disagree, or both) and summarizes the main points you'll discuss.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples and experiences to strengthen your arguments, which will make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to paragraphing to ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, developing a single clear argument with supporting evidence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide a strong conclusion that not only summarizes your main points but also leaves the reader with a final thought on the issue.
task achievement
You have explored both the positive and negative sides of the argument, showing analytical skills.
task achievement
You have identified some key issues such as the impact on handwriting skills and reliance on digital media, which are relevant to the debate.
task achievement
Your essay touches on important aspects of technology's role in education and cognitive development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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