Some people think that becoming popular through TV or Internet makes ordinary people happy. To what extent do you agree with the statement?What other things make modern people happy?
In
this
modern era, many Linking Words
community
do different activities to become popular around the globe. In deep into that, some folks want to Change to a plural noun
communities
popular
in order to get Add a missing verb
be popular
chance
in the film industry. Correct article usage
a chance
However
, it Linking Words
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
applicable
to all Add a missing verb
be applicable
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
. I will elaborate more Use synonyms
opinion
in Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
details
and Fix the agreement mistake
detail
thus
lead to a logical conclusion.
First of all, ordinary Linking Words
people
feel happy when they get recognized by Use synonyms
public
through TV or Add an article
the public
Internet
when they do good indeed. Correct article usage
the Internet
For Instance
, recently crime activities happened in Linking Words
USA
,Correct article usage
the USA
Correct word choice
and a
a
CEO of Correct article usage
the
health
minister Correct article usage
the health
killed
by Add a missing verb
was killed
unknown
Add an article
an unknown
person
. Use synonyms
This
news Linking Words
Add a missing verb
was shooked
shooked
Correct your spelling
shocked
by
the entire nation, police Change preposition
apply
was
struggling Correct subject-verb agreement
were
by
find the criminal, Change preposition
to
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
with
one Change preposition
apply
Use synonyms
person
witness helped to solve the case. After Change noun form
person's
an
incident, everyone Correct article usage
the
appreciate
Wrong verb form
appreciated
Use synonyms
person
who Add an article
a person
the person
come
forward to help the police through social media and TV which made him so happy. Wrong verb form
came
Moreover
, some Linking Words
people
do Use synonyms
differnet
activities Correct your spelling
different
such
as posting Linking Words
video
to be more popular so their talent will Fix the agreement mistake
videos
identify
by someone and get Wrong verb form
be identified
chance
into Correct article usage
a chance
particular
field. Add an article
a particular
Hence
it's apparent why many Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
favouring
Wrong verb form
favour
this
trend.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, many Linking Words
people
prefer to live Use synonyms
low-key
life, those folks Add an article
a low-key
dont
want to get famous because they Correct your spelling
don't
belief
Replace the word
believe
it's
might impact the privacy of Unnecessary verb
it
them
and their Correct pronoun usage
apply
friend
life. Fix the agreement mistake
friends
For
Change preposition
In
this
case, many Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
are
avoid Unnecessary verb
apply
to get
into Change the verb form
getting
cinema
or Correct article usage
the cinema
Correct article usage
the sport
sport
industry. Some Change the noun form
sports
people
are Use synonyms
introvert
, they Replace the word
introverted
dont
want Correct your spelling
don't
recognized
by many Change the verb form
to be recognized
recognizing
people
because they Use synonyms
were
shy.
In Wrong verb form
are
recapticulation
, I reiterate that they are innumerable strong Correct your spelling
recapitulation
factor
supporting that ordinary Fix the agreement mistake
factors
Use synonyms
person
would be happy when they become more popular through TV or Fix the agreement mistake
people
internet
. At the same time, we should respect their privacy and offer space to them.Correct article usage
the internet
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is well supported with relevant examples and explanations to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Some key ideas could be developed further with more elaboration and depth. Try to explore perspectives in a comprehensive manner.
task achievement
Some sentences and ideas could be expressed more clearly. Aim to organize thoughts logically to avoid confusion.
task achievement
The essay provides both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the essay well.
task achievement
The use of a specific example regarding the crime incident provides a real-world context to support an argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.