IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Thao

#people #newspaper #thao
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In the fourth technological revolution, electronic media is increasingly dominant in the transmission of information. Between the explosion of electronic
newspapers
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, the role of printed
newspapers
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 is becoming a topic of debate.
While
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 some people believe that we no longer need printed
newspapers
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 because of the convenience and speed of electronic
newspapers
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, in my opinion ,
newspapers
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 are necessary for life.
Firstly
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, printed publications do not require electronic devices or the internet, which is important in areas without internet access or when there is a power outage.
For example
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, in rural areas or when
traveling
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travelling
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 by train or car without
signal
Correct article usage
a signal
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, print
newspapers
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 are still a useful means of news.
Secondly
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, for many people, especially the elderly, holding a magazine feels more familiar and enjoyable than reading on a screen. Holding the newspaper in your hand, feeling the smell of the paper and turning each page brings a sense of intimacy
that is
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 difficult to achieve with an electronic newspaper. In some families, grandparents still have the habit of reading the morning newspaper with a cup of tea or listening
soft
Change preposition
to soft
show examples
 music In conclusion,
although
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 electronic
newspapers
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 bring many benefits in terms of speed and convenience, print has a role to play, especially for groups of people unfamiliar with or unable to access technology.
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coherence cohesion
To further strengthen the coherence and cohesion, consider using more connective phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Your task response is strong, but you could expand on the opposing viewpoint for a more balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the context well and closing the argument effectively.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the elderly enjoying the physical aspect of newspapers, effectively support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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