The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compsrisons where relevant.

#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period #summarise #features #compsrisons

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The next graph describes the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of people who participated in many recreational activities at an event located in Melbourne, Australia

among

Change preposition

between

show examples

years

Correct article usage

the years

show examples

2000 to 2020.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that

film

Correct article usage

the film

show examples

club was the most

prefered activitie

Correct your spelling

preferred activity

while

Linking Words

musical performances were the least attended.

Film

Correct article usage

The film

show examples

club started the study with an attendance of 65 individuals, and maintained a

contant

Correct your spelling

constant

content

trend during

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

the period.

Similarly

Linking Words

, martial arts showed

constantly

Change the word

constant

show examples

lines,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

it remained among 30 to 40 participants.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, musical performances

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

opened to

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

in 2005

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and reached in 2020 an attendance of 15 persons. Table tennis witnessed a similar trend, as it

initially

Linking Words

begun

Wrong verb form

began

show examples

with 15 individuals

however

Linking Words

in 2010 it dramatically

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

a high number of participants of 55 in 2020.

Finally

Linking Words

, amateur dramatics which

among

Change preposition

between

show examples

2000 and 2005 was positioned in approximately 25 attendances but it dropped sharply to almost cero.

Submitted by oscarsanmo on Sun Dec 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

150 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In modern societies,tax paying is a crucial source of revenue that enables governments to provide essential services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. However, there is a debate about whether paying taxes is sufficient for taxpayers to fulfil their obligations as members of the country.
7.5
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us yo buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, advertisements depict everywhere and we look at them unawares. Some individuals think the adverts are so effective on consumer behaviour. The others hold the counter idea. In my opinion, I firmly believe that it is not very efficient for us.
8
band
Countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other type of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree
People have different views about helping weaker territories with the advanced ones. It is believed that rather than aiding by providing payments, they have an opportunity to cater to other support for taking them to a better position. I completely agree with the last statement.
4.5
band
Some educationists think that international exchange visits will benefit the teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
International exchanges are considered as beneficial opportunity for teens, which helps deal successfully with education. I am of the opinion, that these international programs make a huge positive impact on students such as language improvement. Thus some drawbacks may be revealed such as the inability to adjust to another educational system.
5.5
band
In the future all cars, busses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
In the following years, all vehicles including cars, buses, and trucks are predicted to have self-driving features, which means the vehicles would be operated by the system , not the person. This essay will discuss whether the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compsrisons where relevant.

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us yo buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other type of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree

Some educationists think that international exchange visits will benefit the teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In the future all cars, busses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?