Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
A group of individuals think that kids should make their own decisions
in
regular issues like food, clothes and entertainment Change preposition
on
as a result
, they will become Linking Words
a
self-dependent Correct article usage
apply
person
in their society. Fix the agreement mistake
people
While
Linking Words
,
other Remove the comma
apply
group
of people believe that Change the wording
groups
parents
should decide what Use synonyms
suitable
for their Add a missing verb
is suitable
children
.
Some people believe that Use synonyms
children
should obey their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
parents
wishes, because Change noun form
parent's
parents'
parents
are more intelligent and more Use synonyms
experience
than Replace the word
experienced
children
and many kids can'Use synonyms
t
make decisions by themselves. Use synonyms
children
who aren'Use synonyms
t
Use synonyms
matured
or experienced enough to make Replace the word
mature
decision
by their own intelligence for that particular reason, Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
parents
always decide what to do or not. Use synonyms
For example
, nowadays, many Linking Words
children
affected by smartphones, play virtual games and stay inside of the home and don'Use synonyms
t
go outside of the house for actual physical play. Use synonyms
As a result
, those Linking Words
children
are facing both physical and mental illness for that reason, Use synonyms
parents
guided those Use synonyms
children
to avoid excessive screen time.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, permitting them to make their own choices, in my opinion, can have many advantages Linking Words
such
as being more creative. Linking Words
This
could lead them to faster mental developmentLinking Words
,
because they face a problem and solve that by themselves. By doing Remove the comma
apply
this
kind of activity they could be much more intelligent than other Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
due to
experiences they are gaining over time. Linking Words
For instance
, a school named "Progressive Model School", where students who make decisions by their own thinking Linking Words
outperforming
in Wrong verb form
outperform
study
than those who don'Add an article
the study
t
actually decide anything by themselves.
In conclusion, people who believe that it is a smart choice to Use synonyms
decide
their Verb problem
give
children
whatever they want, because that will lead them to become Use synonyms
a
wise Correct article usage
apply
person
. Fix the agreement mistake
people
However
, individuals who are afraid of their Linking Words
kids
mental growth and ability to their Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
decision making
knowledge Add a hyphen
decision-making
they
are more likely to control their Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
Use synonyms
,
because the outcome could be dangerous if they Remove the comma
apply
don'
Verb problem
aren't
t
Use synonyms
lead
by their Wrong verb form
led
parents
.Use synonyms
Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence that directly relates to your points to support your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitions between paragraphs to create a more seamless flow in your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction that outlines both perspectives and presents a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and presents a final opinion.
task achievement
You offer some justification for both perspectives, showing a decent understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?