IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 is worth
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 youngsters before seeking
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
higher education bears some consideration. The essay contends that the merits of having
time
Use synonyms
 to pursue
passion
Use synonyms
 and travelling outweigh the
demerit
Fix the agreement mistake
demerits
show examples
 of not having enough
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
. One of the benefit a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 give is that it can help young people to
ultilize
Correct your spelling
utilise
 their
time
Use synonyms
 for their
passion
Use synonyms
. To be more specific, teenagers can enlist
this
Linking Words
 golden hour to try new experiences, nourish their strengths and expose themselves to various fields. If they are
willingness
Replace the word
willing
show examples
 to learn and adapt
new
Change preposition
to new
show examples
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 their
passion
Use synonyms
, they will easily ramp up their competitiveness and acquire
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
valuable traits which are important for future work or study. Another positive aspect of taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 is the
time
Use synonyms
 to travel.
In other words
Linking Words
, youngsters would take
this
Linking Words
 opportunity to open their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 about the world and put off themselves from school in order to alleviate stress and exhaustion.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will
be refresh
Change the verb form
be refreshed
be refreshing
show examples
 and able to achieve new knowledge. Despite the beneficial
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 of taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, financial
affair
Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 what
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
 a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 off not worthless.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 teenagers
will cope
Wrong verb form
coping
show examples
 with insufficient money which use for travelling and for their personal
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 may be true to a certain extent,
nevertheless
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
combining both travel and work all together will reduce the strain of financial pressure.
Thus
Linking Words
, taking chances to acquire skills and knowledge
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
 them the most. In conclusion, the impact of
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
 is outweighed by
time
Use synonyms
 for travelling and
pursue
Wrong verb form
pursuing
show examples
teenager's
Correct article usage
a teenager's
show examples
passion
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify the main point that financial issues are not a significant disadvantage by providing specific examples or scenarios. This will enhance the argument and make it more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the essay's coherence by using more varied cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases, to connect ideas and paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that sets up the topic and the writer’s position, which provides a good start to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reinforces the writer's viewpoint, ensuring a satisfying closure.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, fulfilling the requirement to discuss both sides of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: