IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #year #school #university #travel #work #trend
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Whether students should take a
gap
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year
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 before enrolling
into
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on
show examples
higher education is a recurring argument.
This
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 writer argues that the advantages of travelling and working experiences outweigh the drawbacks of being 1
year
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 later compared to their generations. The most advantageous factor of a
gap
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year
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 is that people can travel around to
experience
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 the world surrounding them which is not seen through a picture in a book.
In other words
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, when teenagers are travelling around, they can broaden their horizons and check the realistic status of knowledge which they learnt at school.
Therefore
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, students have more
experience
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 relating to that knowledge. Another major benefit from a
gap
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year
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 is working
experience
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 which is very important for future applications. To be more specific, when teenagers have more
work
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experience
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, they will have more chances to apply for
work
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 since they have more
work
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experience
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 than others.
Moreover
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, they will know how to deal with some hard situations in their
work
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.
Thus
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, having more
work
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experience
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 is very crucial in order to get more chances to be applied by the employer.
However
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, a few people argue that taking a
gap
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year
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 will make you graduate slower than the students in your generation.
This
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 is because
while
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 they are taking a
gap
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year
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, their peers continue their education, which will make them later than their 1
year
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 of knowledge.
This
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 may be true, but learning 1
year
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 later does not mean that they won’t learn sufficient than the others, they just take 1
year
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 off to improve their skills.
As a result
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, when they graduate from their school, they will be employed faster than those people in that generation. In conclusion, the possible impact of taking a
gap
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year
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 is learning 1
year
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 later than their peers,
this
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 was outweighed by the
experience
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 of working and travelling.
Hence
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, having a
gap
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year
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 can be more beneficial for teenagers to prepare for their future.
Submitted by AE Gay lord on

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task achievement
Consider providing specific examples or anecdotes to strengthen your argument about the benefits of a gap year. For instance, mention how personal growth or career opportunities have been positively impacted for students who took a gap year.
task achievement
Ensure that all your points directly support your main argument. While the essay does argue for the benefits of taking a gap year, adding further evidence or addressing possible counterarguments could make your position stronger.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to maintain a flow of ideas. Using linking words and phrases can help guide readers through your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which contributes to readability and coherence.
task achievement
Strong main points presented in the essay, providing a balanced view of the benefits of taking a gap year, such as travel and work experience.
task achievement
The overall response is comprehensive and focused on the central topic, effectively addressing the prompt's requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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