Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, the development of technology makes
people
's access to Use synonyms
music
easier than it was in the past. Use synonyms
Therefore
, many Linking Words
people
believe Use synonyms
music
can be a good Use synonyms
way
to gather communities of different ages and cultures together. Use synonyms
However
, there are Linking Words
also
some opponents to Linking Words
this
view. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will discuss both views and express my own opinion.
On the one hand, Linking Words
music
can be an effective Use synonyms
way
to bring different societies closer. It can Use synonyms
use
to express and introduce a Wrong verb form
be used
culture
, a singer can sing a song which is related to their own Use synonyms
culture
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, the listeners may get curious about other cultures, which Linking Words
make
a difference Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
on
an individual's opinion of that Change preposition
in
culture
. Use synonyms
Also
, it helps to bring Linking Words
people
with different cultures and Use synonyms
beliefes
together. Correct your spelling
beliefs
believes
Moreover
, Linking Words
usually
Add a comma
usually,
people
with different backgrounds go to an artist's concert Use synonyms
where
can be a good place to communicate and know others.
Correct word choice
which
On the other hand
, there are Linking Words
also
opponents Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
this
notion. Some types of Linking Words
music
cause Use synonyms
seperation
in Correct your spelling
separation
a
society. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, in the Rap Linking Words
music
Use synonyms
culture
, artists have been very clear with their beliefs, which can Use synonyms
be vary
from others and sometimes count as offensive. Change the verb form
vary
Music
Use synonyms
furthermore
Linking Words
has
many types like Classical Verb problem
are
music
and Rap Use synonyms
music
, each of Use synonyms
them
requires Correct pronoun usage
which
their
own Correct pronoun usage
its
audiences
. Fix the agreement mistake
audience
For instance
, most teenagers listen to Linking Words
the
rap Correct article usage
apply
music
Use synonyms
while
elderies may Linking Words
prefer
listen to more relaxing ones. Add the particle
prefer to
As a result
, it is pretty obvious each genre of Linking Words
music
has Use synonyms
it
own community and Change the pronoun
its
music
may not be a useful Use synonyms
way
to make communities closer.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, singers can use their songs to encourage Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
knowing
other societies Change the verb form
to know
while
many genres of Linking Words
music
may considered Use synonyms
as
offensive and lead to separation. I personally believe Change preposition
apply
music
is not a good and useful Use synonyms
way
to bring Use synonyms
people
with different backgrounds together.Use synonyms
Submitted by Mahshad
on
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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Elaborate further on how music unites people culturally beyond concerts.
complete response
Consider adding a more varied range of ideas to fully address all aspects of the question.
introduction conclusion present
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion.
logical structure
Attempts to present both sides of the argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example