IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Advertisements advertising influences consumer behavior, more negatively than positively. Do you agree or disagree?

#advertisements #influences #consumer #behavior
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The topic of advertising has sparked much debate in
the
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apply
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recent years.
While
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 some part of
the
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society believes that marketing schemes
has
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have
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 an unfavourable
affect
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effect
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 on the buyers rather than the advantages, I strongly agree with
this
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 viewpoint as it only creates
strong
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a strong
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 desire and erosion of savings. The foremost point to consider is that advertisements stimulate
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the desires
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desires
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desire
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 for
the
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unnecessary shopping. To
ellustrate
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illustrate
 it,
business
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businesses
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 invested huge expenses in the promotion of their goods despite showing any negative
aspect
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aspects
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 to
the
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society. A good example of
this
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 is
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the promotions
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promotions
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promotion
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 of
the
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beauty products through several
televisions
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television
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adds
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ads
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 where the “picture-perfect” body shape and glowing skin
is
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are
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 represented among women.
This
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 kind of pseudo
products
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product
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 that a person can boost confidence only
by
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through
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 the paid class.
Thus
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, fake promotional videos
has
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have
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 a critical
affect
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effect
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 on the mentality of the consumers as individuals feel difficulty
to distinguish
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in distinguishing
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 between needs and desires. Another compelling argument is the depletion of personal savings. To collaborate
it
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further
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, people find happiness by purchasing multiple luxurious items for themselves. Nowadays,
young
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the young
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 generation tries to mimic the lifestyle of their favourite role models.
Due to
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this
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 reason, teenagers take debt from the credit councils to own that branded clothing.
According to
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 a survey of the Scotia Bank in
the
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Canada around 60% of credit utilization is observed to shop for dresses and modern gadgets from the stipulated brands.
Hence
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,
this
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 kind of demand has a detrimental
affect
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effect
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 on the stable expenditure of the family.
Overall
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, undoubtedly advertisements
are seems
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seem
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 to be more unprofitable for the customers.
This
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 is because it
stimulate
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stimulates
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desire
Add an article
the desire
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of purchasing
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to purchase
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 non-essential items that
brings
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bring
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feeling
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a feeling
the feeling
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 of being materialistic and
affects
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affect
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 the stable income of a person.
Therefore
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, I strongly agree with
this
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 statement.
Submitted by sarabjeetk8899 on

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language
Work on refining your vocabulary and expressions to better convey your ideas while reducing grammatical errors.
content development
Ensure each argument thoroughly explores both positives and negatives of advertisements for a more balanced essay.
structure
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, and you've structured your response with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
examples
Provided relevant examples such as the impact of beauty product advertisements, which helps to illustrate your arguments effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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