IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

there are many ways of preventing crime that are much better than prison. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

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Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crime rates are increasing day to day, especially in urban cities. We can say that the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 for the increase in crime rates are poverty, lack of education and social degradation. Many criminals commit crimes
such
Linking Words
 as smuggling, robbery, bodily harm or harming animals again after being released from jail. Because they are not
judjed
Correct your spelling
punished
 with deterrent punishment. In my opinion, anyone who harms animals is a potential murderer. Why are femicide and rape rates rising? Because men do not receive deterrent punishment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are encouraged. If the laws were implemented
according to
Linking Words
 the Code of Hammurabi, so many crimes would not
implement
Wrong verb form
have occurred
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.

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task achievement
Ensure you fully address the essay question by clearly stating whether you agree or disagree with the view. You can improve by explicitly stating your position in the introduction and ensuring it's clearly supported throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that systematically unpack one main idea each, and a conclusion that restates your central viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Work on using smooth transitions and cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs, which will help in building a more logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Your essay opens with a brief introduction to the issue, providing context surrounding crime rates.
task achievement
You have identified relevant issues connected to crime, such as poverty and lack of education, which adds depth to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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