The table illustrates the proportion of people aged 65 and over in Canada, Germany and the UK in 1988, 2000 and an estimation of 2030.

#proportion #people #canada #germany #uk #estimation

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The table below shows the proportion of people aged 65 and over in three specific countries. In 1988, 2000 and

estimation

Replace the word

estimated

show examples

in 2030.

overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

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Germany has the highest percentage compared with the UK and Canada.

In contrast

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, the UK has the lowest number in three different periods.

To begin

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with, Canada started the statistics by 16.32 per cent in 1988. after that. It increased to 20.67% after 12 years.

Lastly

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. It's probably reaching 26.35% in 2030.

in addition

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, Germany scored a

suddenly

Change the adverb

sudden

show examples

number in 1988. it was 20.45 per cent in the first year.

Thereafter

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, they got 25.32% of people aged 65 and over in 2000.

then

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, the figure will increase significantly after 30 years to 30.42%. The

last

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one, the UK has the smallest figures. They marked 14.23% in 1988. But, it changed only to 14.89 in 2000.

Then

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, the percentage of elderly people will be 20.35 in the

last

Linking Words

year 2030.

Submitted by kalmah.sa20 on Mon Dec 23 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

157 words

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The table illustrates the proportion of people aged 65 and over in Canada, Germany and the UK in 1988, 2000 and an estimation of 2030.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Write a letter to a hotel manager about booking a private room for family party. Explaining What kind of party is it? What do you need in the room? And ask for food and prices?

In many cities, planners organize shops, schools, offices and homes into specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.