IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Across the world,local shops are clsoing due to losing customers to online competitors.

#world #shops #customers #competitors
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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years,
rapid
Correct article usage
a rapid
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 surge has been seen in online businesses that
has
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have
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 led to
shutting
Correct article usage
the shutting
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 down of local stores. The problems that are emerging are joblessness and local communities are affecting significantly. These situations can be solved by
government
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 initiatives. I will explain
this
Linking Words
 below. A major issue is the increase in the number of unemployment. Most of
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people
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the people
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 are employed at local
shops
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. Because of less
sale
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sales
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 production, shop
owner
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owners
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 cannot provide
salary
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salaries
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 to their workers,
then
Linking Words
 they have to remove their employees from the shop.
This
Linking Words
 heightened the stress levels among unemployed
people
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 as it gets difficult to manage their expenses.
For example
Linking Words
, in small towns , it has been found that the reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 unemployment is
increase
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an increase
the increase
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 in online stores which has affected
well-being
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the well-being
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 of
people
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, local communities depend on nearby stores to purchase items which
caused
Wrong verb form
causes
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 more commuting and time wastage.
Closing
Correct article usage
The closing
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 of
shops
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 can be tackled by
government
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 initiatives.
Firstly
Linking Words
,the
government
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 should provide incentives to the
people
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 who are losing their jobs so that they can run their
dailly
Correct your spelling
daily
expenditure
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expenditures
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
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government
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the government
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 should financially help
people
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,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
as this
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 will maintain their
overall
Linking Words
 health.
In addition
Linking Words
, to boost
economy
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the economy
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,
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government
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the government
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 can invest in local
shops
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, so that the selling can be increased.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
government
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 plays
important
Correct article usage
an important
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 role in maintaining and promoting local
shops
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, as customers are showing interest in online
shops
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, local
shops
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 are getting closed which
increased
Wrong verb form
increases
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 unemployment rates and
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 locally.
Hence
Linking Words
,
government
Use synonyms
 can take
step
Add an article
a step
show examples
 forward in helping individuals who lost
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 job
due to
Linking Words
 online commerce.
Submitted by kaurgurjot95 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on your ideas more comprehensively to ensure clarity. This will improve the strength of your argument and help convey your points clearly.
task achievement
Develop more detailed examples that specifically highlight your points. This can strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph connects smoothly to the next. This will enhance the readability and flow of your essay, creating a more coherent structure.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, providing a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies key problems related to the closure of local shops and provides potential solutions, which shows a good understanding of the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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