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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs illustrates the info relating to time worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or collage lecturer.

The graphs illustrates the info relating to time worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or collage lecturer.
#graphs #info #time #stress #levels #professionals #eight #groups #information #university #collage #lecturer
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The bar and the
pie
Use synonyms
 charts provide key information about the information relating to time worked and
stress
Use synonyms
levels
Use synonyms
amongest
Correct your spelling
among
 professionals in various groups. The units are measured in figures and percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graphs that the business males working
hours
Use synonyms
 were the highest figure in the bar chart, but they represent
unsignificant
Correct article usage
an unsignificant
show examples
 percentage
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 dealing with
stress
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, lecturers working
hours
Use synonyms
 were the lowest in the bar chart, but in the
stress
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
levels'
Change noun form
levels
show examples
pie
Use synonyms
 it indicates the largest portion of the
pie
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data shown, movie producers
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a substantial 60 working
hours
Use synonyms
 on average and a high
Use synonyms
levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
show examples
 of
stress
Use synonyms
 with 18%. Programmers
Linking Words
on
Add the comma(s)
, on
show examples
 the other hand, were working a modest 40
hours
Use synonyms
, and their
levels
Use synonyms
 of
stress
Use synonyms
 were the
tsmallest
Correct your spelling
smallest
 slice of the
pie
Use synonyms
, which was 5%. Doctors
also
Linking Words
 illustrate that their working
hours
Use synonyms
 were above 50
hours
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
, the
stress
Use synonyms
 level only
represent
Wrong verb form
represented
show examples
 15%. In terms of the
lawyers
Add a comma
lawyers,
show examples
 it is obvious that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they spent less than 40 working
hours
Use synonyms
,
moreover
Linking Words
, the
levels
Use synonyms
 of
stress
Use synonyms
 were only 8% which
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
show examples
 one of the lowest
ratio
Change to a plural noun
ratios
show examples
 on the
pie
Use synonyms
 chart.
In addition
Linking Words
, writers and chefs working
hours
Use synonyms
 were less
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 30
hours
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, stress, levels, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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