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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below compares the changes in the birth rate of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000.

The graph below compares the changes in the birth rate of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000.
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The line graph compares the
birth
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 rates in China and the United States over an 80-year period, from 1920 to 2000.
Overall
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, both countries saw a decline in
birth
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 rates during the period. The most notable feature is the sharp increase in China’s
birth
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rate
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 in the 1950s, which stands out as the most significant change in the data. In 1920, the
birth
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rate
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 in China was slightly above 10.
This
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 figure remained relatively stable with minor fluctuations until 1935, after which it dropped sharply, reaching its lowest point in 1945. It
then
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 rose dramatically to a peak of 20 in 1950, before plummeting to nearly 9 in 1955.
Following
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this
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 period, the
birth
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rate
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 in China showed a steady decline, ending at just under 3 by 2000.
Similarly
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, the
birth
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rate
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 in the United States began at approximately 12 in 1920. It fluctuated moderately until 1940, after which it dipped sharply to just under 5 in 1945.
However
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, the
birth
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rate
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 rose significantly to reach a high of about 15, before gradually declining over the remaining years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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