Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the ‏past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television ‏for children.

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In recent years,
children
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have spent significantly more
time
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watching
television
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compared to previous generations.
While
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television
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offers educational content and entertainment that can aid in a child’s development, it
also
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poses potential drawbacks. On the one hand,
television
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can have positive effects. it provides access to educational programs that help
children
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learn new skills and knowledge.
For example
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, shows about science, history, and languages can make learning fun and engaging.
For example
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, recent research by
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
of London found that
children
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who watch educational programs develop better cognitive and language skills compared to those who don’t.
On the other hand
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, excessive
television
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watching can contribute to a sedentary lifestyle, which increases the risk of health problems like obesity and reduced physical fitness in
children
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. Recent research by the University of Cambridge found that
children
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who spend more than three hours a day watching
television
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are 40% more likely to develop weight-related issues compared to those who limit their screen
time
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. To address
this
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, parents can encourage
children
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to balance screen
time
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with outdoor activities,
such
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as playing sports or going for walks, to ensure a healthier lifestyle. In conclusion, the examples and arguments show that
television
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has both benefits, like educational content, and drawbacks,
such
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as health risks from excessive screen
time
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.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Task Response
To further enhance the task achievement, consider expanding on both the advantages and disadvantages by adding more examples or exploring additional points, thereby providing a more comprehensive response to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay is coherent overall, try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. This could be achieved by using more transitional phrases or linking words, helping the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Response
The essay provides clear, relevant examples that support the main points, which enhances the argument and demonstrates strong task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained. The writer effectively introduces topics, discusses them, and provides a strong conclusion, indicating good coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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