urban environments become unhealthy. Name causes and solutions

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Nowadays ,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

believe that the increasing population and scarcity of land in megapolices can impact
on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their health and environment . First of all,the main
problem
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

topic is industrialization.The
industrial revolution
Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution

The word industrial revolution doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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has influenced the development of cities and countries.
People
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

started to open factories for the extraction of heavy metals and precious metals,they began to pollute the air ,ground and all living things around.Despite the fact that new technologies
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject new technologies. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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come to us,which could ease the current situation,nothing has changed ,and it remains in a similar state. To solve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,the government should establish a law on
purification
Correct article usage
the purification

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of gases released into the atmosphere or transfer them outside the city . The second reason is overcrowded cities.Сurrently,overcrowding in cities has a negative impact on both the state of the world and on
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.A huge number of diseases,
the
Correct word choice
and the

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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extinction of rare species of plants and animals can lead to disaster.The best way to solve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is to tell
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at the state level to move into small towns or
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside

It seems that countrysides may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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,thanks to which new territories will be developed and minimise the impact on the environment. In conclusion,I firmly believe that these problems,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as increasing population and scarcity of land in megapolices will not
Add a missing verb
be

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a huge
problem
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,which can affect not only us and our health ,but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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our future children,relatives and
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

around us in the future,because if you want to save yourself and the planet ,you need to think about it from a really young age.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, such as specific cities or studies.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure, especially when transitioning between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify and strengthen the connections between the causes and solutions. This will improve coherence and provide a more comprehensive task response.
coherence and cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, establishing the context and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic directly by naming causes of unhealthy urban environments and proposing solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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