The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world’s cities today. Discuss the causes. What solutions could be used to tackle the situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's era , the
rapidly
Change the adverb
rapid
show examples
increment in
movement
Add an article
the movement
show examples
of individuals towards urban
areas
Use synonyms
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
show examples
a serious issue all around the world . The reasons related to
this
Linking Words
problem will be discussed in an upcoming
paragrapgs
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
paragraph
along with
Linking Words
solutions . One of the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
migration
Correct article usage
the migration
show examples
of people into city
areas
Use synonyms
is the Availability of better
education
Use synonyms
and lifestyle . In urban
areas
Use synonyms
, especially ,children can not only get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
quality
education
Use synonyms
with the
advant
Correct your spelling
advantage
of advanced teaching staff
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
who are
mastered
Replace the word
masters
show examples
in their fields but
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
able to obtain
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
life
while
Linking Words
doing enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
in
park
Add an article
the park
a park
show examples
during their leisure time
along with
Linking Words
participating in other community functions .
Thus
Linking Words
, above mentioned factor is one of the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
migration into cities . Another reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
movement
Correct article usage
the movement
show examples
of masses to urban
areas
Use synonyms
is more employment opportunities . If a person is well-educated in their field like Science , Doctor and soon. They would not be easily able to acquire better
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better amount
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
according to
Linking Words
their profession . So, by doing jobs in big cities a person will be
finacially
Correct your spelling
financially
as well as
Linking Words
mentally become strong .
Hence
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the above
an above
show examples
above explained
Add a hyphen
above-explained
show examples
factor is another example in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of
movement
Add an article
the movement
show examples
. To Solve
this
Linking Words
problem , the Government can open more schools and colleges in rural
areas
Use synonyms
all over the world . So , children who belong to village
areas
Use synonyms
can get
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
education
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
staying there own place . Because , nowadays , they do not have enough facilities in terms of
education
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
the reputed staff .
Moreover
Linking Words
, there could be more job opportunities for individuals
cIan
Correct your spelling
can
reduce the problem of migration . In conclusion ,
Although
Linking Words
quality
education
Use synonyms
and opportunities in job sectors are becoming the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
leaving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
Use synonyms
around the world
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
can
be reduce
Change the verb form
be reduced
show examples
if the Government provide
these facility
Change the determiner
this facility
these facilities
show examples
in those
areas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hk356645 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
For task achievement, try to support each main point with more specific examples. This can make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You can achieve this by using linking words or phrases more effectively.
task achievement
The essay covers key reasons for migration like education and employment opportunities, and proposes solutions.
coherence cohesion
You've structured the essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: