IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

percentage of uk people who consumed daily recomended amount of fruit and vegtables in 2002m2006 and 2010.

#percentage #uk #people #amount #fruit #vegtables
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The bar charts illustrate
a key information
Remove the article
key information
a piece of key information
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 about the percentage of British people who
consume
Wrong verb form
have consumed
show examples
 a daily
recommend
Wrong verb form
recommended
show examples
 amount of fruit and vegetables for almost 10
years
Use synonyms
. First and foremost, it’s clear from details that the ratio of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 was the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 during the
years
Use synonyms
,
subsequently
Linking Words
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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male.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the child
the
Add a missing verb
has the
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 smallest portion.
According to
Linking Words
 what shown, the percentage of women was
account
Add an article
an account
the account
show examples
Change preposition
for
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by
Change preposition
for
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 25%,
Correct pronoun usage
which had
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had
Correct pronoun usage
which had
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 a rapid increase after 4
years
Use synonyms
 to
made up
Verb problem
apply
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32%, slightly in 2010 decreased the fraction
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
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consuming
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
to
Verb problem
apply
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returned similar to
be as
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in the beginning. In terms of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and children, the male was steady across
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 whole period .
Conversely
Linking Words
 the kids who were the least in 2002
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
Correct your spelling
represent
represnt
Correct your spelling
represented
 tenth, significantly in 2005 jumped to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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nearly
Correct your spelling
the
thr
Correct your spelling
the
 doubled share,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by
sightly
Correct article usage
a sightly
show examples
 decrease in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
years
Use synonyms
Submitted by reemabdullah395 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay with a clearer structure, including distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure your essay covers and fully explains all important details presented in the data.
task achievement
Try to provide a variety of examples and elaborate on them to support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have identified the main trends and comparisons in the data, providing a basic interpretation.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the topic and discusses the key points from the data, showing understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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