IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while other believe that it is better to straight after school. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

There is no denying the fact that
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
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 career requires a lot of knowledge and effort to be achieved.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that learning from university or college is
best
Change the article
the best
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 path
for
Change preposition
to
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 success, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it.
This
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 essay will analyse both views and
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
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 my opinion. On one hand, university or any other learning system
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
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student's
Correct article usage
a student's
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 personality in many aspects.
In other
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words
Add a comma
words,
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 the roles that students are following are teaching them the
discepline
Correct your spelling
discipline
 and time
manegment
Correct your spelling
management
.
In addition
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, these skills are crucial in
job
Add an article
the job
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 market because of their importance.
For instance
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, successful employees are very strict
in
Change preposition
with
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 time
manegments
Correct your spelling
management
managements
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dates, which always makes them
to
Change preposition
apply
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better than their unlearners
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
.
On the other hand
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,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 think that going to
job
Add an article
the job
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 market after school might make
a huge shortcuts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge shortcut
huge shortcuts
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 in their successful career, and
also
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 that professional life is something
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
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 learned by working not studying. It is
also
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 possible to say
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
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 takes four to five years
from
Change preposition
of
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 your
live
Replace the word
life
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 before you start working and in these years provide
theritical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 knowledge.
Furthermore
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, working from
early
Add an article
an early
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 age might improve the person's skills
to fast
Verb problem
quickly
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 by being close
with
Change preposition
to
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 experienced people and knowing what is new in
job
Add an article
the job
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 market.
For example
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,
worker
Correct article usage
a worker
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 with four years
experience
Change preposition
of experience
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 is better than
certified
Add an article
a certified
the certified
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 person with no experience. In conclusion, there is no easy answer
for
Change preposition
to
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this
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 question. On balance, I tend to believe that schooling
at
Change preposition
in
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 any learning system is better
to have
Change preposition
for having
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successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
 career
because of
Change preposition
for
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 many reasons
such
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 as knowledge that includes and
person
Change noun form
person's
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 personality development in many life aspects.

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grammar
Improve your grammar and sentence structure. Phrases like 'the roles that students are following' could be more precise.
content
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. Currently, the examples are quite general.
coherence
Add transitions for smoother flow between arguments, such as 'Moreover' or 'Additionally'.
content
The essay presents both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
structure
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear structure.
task response
The essay addresses the task, providing reasons for both perspectives and concluding with a personal opinion.
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