IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while other believe that it is better to straight after school. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
 career requires a lot of knowledge and effort to be achieved.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that learning from university or college is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 path
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 success, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse both views and
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 my opinion. On one hand, university or any other learning system
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
student's
Correct article usage
a student's
show examples
 personality in many aspects.
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
 the roles that students are following are teaching them the
discepline
Correct your spelling
discipline
 and time
manegment
Correct your spelling
management
.
In addition
Linking Words
, these skills are crucial in
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 market because of their importance.
For instance
Linking Words
, successful employees are very strict
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 time
manegments
Correct your spelling
management
managements
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dates, which always makes them
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
better than their unlearners
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think that going to
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 market after school might make
a huge shortcuts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge shortcut
huge shortcuts
show examples
 in their successful career, and
also
Linking Words
 that professional life is something
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
 learned by working not studying. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
 takes four to five years
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 your
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 before you start working and in these years provide
theritical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 knowledge.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, working from
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
 age might improve the person's skills
to fast
Verb problem
quickly
show examples
 by being close
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 experienced people and knowing what is new in
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 market.
For example
Linking Words
,
worker
Correct article usage
a worker
show examples
 with four years
experience
Change preposition
of experience
show examples
 is better than
certified
Add an article
a certified
the certified
show examples
 person with no experience. In conclusion, there is no easy answer
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 question. On balance, I tend to believe that schooling
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any learning system is better
to have
Change preposition
for having
show examples
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
 career
because of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many reasons
such
Linking Words
 as knowledge that includes and
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 personality development in many life aspects.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Improve your grammar and sentence structure. Phrases like 'the roles that students are following' could be more precise.
content
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. Currently, the examples are quite general.
coherence
Add transitions for smoother flow between arguments, such as 'Moreover' or 'Additionally'.
content
The essay presents both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
structure
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear structure.
task response
The essay addresses the task, providing reasons for both perspectives and concluding with a personal opinion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: