IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Parents should be responsible for the children's behaviour to extend disagree or agree

#parents #children #behaviour
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It is true that
parents
Use synonyms
 are the primary caregivers of their offspring.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, specific demographics assert that caretakers are only accountable for the terrible actions of pupils. I partially advocate
this
Linking Words
 perception. Teaching morals is the duty of
parents
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 adopting the learnings is the responsibility of the children. From one perspective, it can be argued that both mothers and fathers are equally blamed for the unacceptable
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of their juveniles. A key justification for
this
Linking Words
 is,
toddlers
Correct word choice
that toddlers
show examples
 spend more time with family members since childhood. During
this
Linking Words
 time, pupils adopted all the habits
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their guardians. A good example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is, if the care providers would not provide desired respect and affection to their
parents
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 how it is possible to expect kind
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 from the offspring towards grandparents
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Therefore
Linking Words
, it creates
problematic
Add an article
a problematic
the problematic
show examples
 atmosphere in the family and
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 family heads should try to pay emphatic attention during the upbringing period. So that crucial ethics like respect
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 elders would not be neglected. Despite
this
Linking Words
, minors are accountable for their autonomy. To illustrate it, teenagers are always eager to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 decisions
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 age, descendants are mature enough to differentiate between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
right and wrong circumstances. But the hard part is that young
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 are unwilling to
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
 the good values given by the care providers.
For instance
Linking Words
, progeny is involved in several offences like robberies, sexual harassment, or gang rapes.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the negative influence of peer
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, caregivers never
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
this
Linking Words
 type of future for their juveniles and it
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 duty of kids to choose
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 paths and they should be held
reasonable
Correct word choice
responsible
show examples
 for the legal procedures. To
incapsulate
Correct your spelling
encapsulate
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 have
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
 role in shaping their children’s moral and ethical values, still they cannot be held entirely answerable for the hurtful habits of their kids.
This
Linking Words
 is because
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation has
also
Linking Words
 the same right of freedom to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 decisions.
Submitted by sarabjeetk8899 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Ensure clarity by breaking down complex ideas into simpler sentences.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer transitions between paragraphs to enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Focus on avoiding repetition of ideas to make the essay more concise.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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