IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people are happy to spend their whole life living in the same area. Others prefer to live in many different places in their lifetime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Livining
Correct your spelling
Living
 in the same area or experiencing different locations has been a vital topic of debate.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that living in the same location makes them delightful, others would present
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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 view and agree with experiencing various areas. Both sides of the argument highlight valuable points which will be discussed,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
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 by my own perspective.
Firstly
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer
Correct article usage
a tranquel
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tranquel
Correct your spelling
tranquil
 environment, where they are more likely to remain
whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
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 life there and avoid experiencing different situations.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 these characters miss the chance
of
Change preposition
to experience
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experiences
Use synonyms
 various aspects of living, they might feel a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
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 and
delightful
Replace the word
delight
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 during their lives.
For instance
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, consider a young boy who
prefer
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prefers
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 living in
rural
Add an article
a rural
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 area, where he was born, he can stay in touch with his family members easily and enjoy spending quality time with
those
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
As a result
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, living in a certain spot not only can provide a sense of happiness, but
also
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can help
people
Use synonyms
 live with their families throughout their lives.
Conversely
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, some individuals, particularly, younger generations tend to gain various
experiences
Use synonyms
 throughout their lives.
Therefore
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, moving and travelling to different locations offers a variety of benefits for them
such
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 as achieving a deep understanding of various cultures. A prime illustration of
this
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 is a young man, who travels around the world in order to gain a
sorts
Correct the article-noun agreement
sort
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 of different
experiences
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,
although
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 he might have not a physical home, he
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieved
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 his goals and ambitions
in
Change preposition
at
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 a young age.
Moreover
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, the more
places
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 live, the more
experiences
Use synonyms
 they will gain. In conclusion, there are various opinions about
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whereas
Correct word choice
apply
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living in a certain location or different
places
Use synonyms
.
Although
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 some
people
Use synonyms
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
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 stay in their secure shelters, some would argue that experiencing different
places
Use synonyms
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them experience different cultures, I strongly advocate
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 second view and believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should experience different
places
Use synonyms
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
.

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task achievement
Expand on the main points to provide a more comprehensive argument. Consider adding more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen the essay's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases such as 'in addition', 'furthermore', or 'on the other hand' to guide the reader through your paragraphs, enhancing logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Structure your sentences more carefully to avoid minor grammatical errors and improve clarity, especially in complex sentences.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames the discussion.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which enhances your task response.
task achievement
The inclusion of examples, such as those related to cultural understanding and family, adds depth to your discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sense of familiarity
  • Belonging
  • Community
  • Social connections
  • Local environment
  • Resources
  • Limited exposure
  • Different cultures
  • Experiences
  • Stagnation
  • Complacency
  • Personal growth
  • Development
  • Diverse cultures
  • Perspectives
  • Adaptability
  • Flexibility
  • Stability
  • Roots
  • Long-lasting relationships
  • Adjustment
  • New environments
  • Balanced approach
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