Some people are happy to spend their whole life living in the same area. Others prefer to live in many different places in their lifetime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Livining
in the same area or experiencing different locations has been a vital topic of debate. Correct your spelling
Living
While
some Linking Words
people
believe that living in the same location makes them delightful, others would present Use synonyms
opposite
view and agree with experiencing various areas. Both sides of the argument highlight valuable points which will be discussed, Correct article usage
the opposite
following
by my own perspective.
Wrong verb form
followed
Firstly
, some Linking Words
people
prefer Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a tranquel
tranquel
environment, where they are more likely to remain Correct your spelling
tranquil
whole
life there and avoid experiencing different situations. Correct pronoun usage
their whole
Although
Linking Words
,
these characters miss the chance Remove the comma
apply
of
Change preposition
to experience
experiences
various aspects of living, they might feel a sense of Use synonyms
fulfillment
and Change the spelling
fulfilment
delightful
during their lives. Replace the word
delight
For instance
, consider a young boy who Linking Words
prefer
living in Change the verb form
prefers
rural
area, where he was born, he can stay in touch with his family members easily and enjoy spending quality time with Add an article
a rural
those
. Correct pronoun usage
them
As a result
, living in a certain spot not only can provide a sense of happiness, but Linking Words
also
Linking Words
it
can help Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
live with their families throughout their lives.
Use synonyms
Conversely
, some individuals, particularly, younger generations tend to gain various Linking Words
experiences
throughout their lives. Use synonyms
Therefore
, moving and travelling to different locations offers a variety of benefits for them Linking Words
such
as achieving a deep understanding of various cultures. A prime illustration of Linking Words
this
is a young man, who travels around the world in order to gain a Linking Words
sorts
of different Correct the article-noun agreement
sort
experiences
, Use synonyms
although
he might have not a physical home, he Linking Words
achieve
his goals and ambitions Wrong verb form
achieved
in
a young age. Change preposition
at
Moreover
, the more Linking Words
places
Use synonyms
people
live, the more Use synonyms
experiences
they will gain.
In conclusion, there are various opinions about Use synonyms
Linking Words
whereas
living in a certain location or different Correct word choice
apply
places
. Use synonyms
Although
some Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
prefer
stay in their secure shelters, some would argue that experiencing different Add the particle
prefer to
places
Use synonyms
for living
Change preposition
to live
help
them experience different cultures, I strongly advocate Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
with
Change preposition
apply
this
second view and believe that Linking Words
people
should experience different Use synonyms
places
Use synonyms
for living
.Change preposition
to live
Submitted by mahanz on
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task achievement
Expand on the main points to provide a more comprehensive argument. Consider adding more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen the essay's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases such as 'in addition', 'furthermore', or 'on the other hand' to guide the reader through your paragraphs, enhancing logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Structure your sentences more carefully to avoid minor grammatical errors and improve clarity, especially in complex sentences.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames the discussion.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which enhances your task response.
task achievement
The inclusion of examples, such as those related to cultural understanding and family, adds depth to your discussion.