IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that public facilities (e.g. zoos, museums, parks)should be free. Other people think that you should pay to use these facilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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some
people
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 argue that public
places
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 should be free of cost to everyone. Meanwhile, the other side believes that residents should pay to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public facilities . in my view, Allowing
people
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 to pay has many benefits. there are two main reasons why it should pay
fee
Add an article
a fee
show examples
 to benefit from community amenities.
firstly
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, paying a nominal fee for using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
places
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 helps in many aspects.
such
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 as operating the amenities and fixing them regularly.
moreover
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, it contributes to establishing and creating better
places
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. which
as a result
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, will attract more visitors and
this
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 leads to reviving the economy.
secondly
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, paying to benefit from public
places
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 makes citizens more careful about cleaning and protecting them from destruction.
furthermore
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. it helps
people
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 feel more responsible for keeping
places
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 in good condition.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that community amenities should be available for everyone to benefit from and use, regardless of their financial situation.
In addition
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 to
this
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, some of them think that public facilities are funded using money collected from residents through taxes.
As a result
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, they believe it is fair for
people
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 to access these
places
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 without having to pay for them. In conclusion, paying additional fees may be useful to get excellent service and facilities,It has more benefits than allowing
people
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 to enter public
places
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 for free.

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task achievement
To improve your essay, consider providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas and paragraphs are clearly connected with cohesive devices. Avoid abrupt transitions and make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents both perspectives on the topic and includes your opinion, which addresses the prompt effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a coherent framework for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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