Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Do you think one factor is more important than others?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Half of
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
believe that equal rights between the male and
fameles
Correct your spelling
families
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been performed,
while
Linking Words
others feel that there needs to be more
clearility
Correct your spelling
clearly
clarity
regarding the progress made.
This
Linking Words
essay will
disccus
Correct your spelling
discuss
both views about
equality
Use synonyms
. We almost reached support
equality
Use synonyms
in our
centry
Correct your spelling
country
century
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
it is
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to make considerable progress. Begin whith
egalitarian
Correct article usage
the egalitarian
show examples
side in our
country's
Change noun form
country
show examples
gender
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed a lot.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
we accomplished
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
balancing responsibilities
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
shows
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
equality
Use synonyms
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
each developing country
works
Verb problem
apply
show examples
men and
women's
Unnecessary verb
women
show examples
too. It is a big
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
comparission
Correct your spelling
comparison
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
1980 even earlier.
Moreover
Linking Words
in
working
Verb problem
apply
show examples
places women's
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
same
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
. Even
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment desided
Correct your spelling
government decided
to give equal pay. Moving to the
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we need
clearility
Correct your spelling
clarity
clearly
to say with confidence, what we live in the
centry
Correct your spelling
country
century
that supports and respects both male and
famale
Correct your spelling
female
equality
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
as considering and solving the
Femenist
Correct your spelling
feminist
theory and male entitlement.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
all huge
probles
Correct your spelling
problems
problem
always
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
with them. And it destroys
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
of the country.
Femenisim
Correct your spelling
Feminism
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
never stop, because all people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
their
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
.
Womans
Correct your spelling
Women
show examples
who have
this
Linking Words
thinnkking
Correct your spelling
thinking
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
show examples
a problem,
annoing
Correct your spelling
including
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
gender.
However
Linking Words
, men's large minus is male-entitlement, putting their ego
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the first place and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
desicions
Correct your spelling
decisions
by themselves, it provides to a big hate. In my
understunding
Correct your spelling
understanding
year by year
this
Linking Words
problem
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
gender
equality
Use synonyms
solving by itself, and we can consider that we already living in the support
equality
Use synonyms
centry
Correct your spelling
century
and round. And
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
see
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
correct
Change preposition
as correct
show examples
.
Submitted by nurymbetova.aray on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve your logical structure by presenting a clear and logical progression of ideas. Group similar points together and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and contributes to your argument.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points more comprehensively. Make sure each idea is fully explored and supported with relevant examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.
General
Try to reduce language inaccuracies and improve clarity. Aim for clearer sentence structures and word choices to enhance comprehension and avoid potential misunderstandings.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in rounding off your essay and giving it a complete look.
Task Achievement
You raised important issues about gender equality and explored both perspectives, which shows a balanced approach to the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • Human Development Index (HDI)
  • Sustainable Development
  • Income Inequality
  • Technological Advancement
  • Global Influence
  • Diplomatic Relations
  • Public Health Initiatives
  • Educational Attainment
  • Cultural Heritage
  • National Security
  • Social Cohesion
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