It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use teach good behaviur to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviur

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Half of the people believe that equal rights between males and females have been performed,

while

Linking Words

others feel that there needs to be more clarity regarding the progress made.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views about fairness. We almost reached support equality in our century,

however

Linking Words

, it is necessary to make considerable progress. Begin with the egalitarian side in our country gender comparison has changed a lot.

For instance

Linking Words

, we accomplished balancing responsibilities which shows noticeable coordination. In each developing country men and women too. It is a big difference in comparison to 1980 even earlier.

Moreover

Linking Words

in places women's degrees same as men's. Even the government decided to give equal pay. Moving to the drawbacks

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

we need clarity to say with confidence, what we live in the century that supports and respects both male and female identity.

Such

Linking Words

as considering and solving the feminist theory and male entitlement.

Therefore

Linking Words

all huge problems always start with them. And it destroys the improvement of the country. Feminism

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

never

stop

Correct subject-verb agreement

stops

show examples

, because all people have their points of view. Women who have

this

Linking Words

thinking create a problem, including the opposite gender.

However

Linking Words

, men's large minus is male entitlement, putting their ego in the first place and making decisions by themselves,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

leads to a big hate. In my understanding year by

year

Add a comma

year,

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem of gender equal opportunity is solved by itself, and we can consider that we already living in the support coordination century

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

round. And I see both opinions as correct.

Submitted by nurymbetova.aray on Tue Dec 24 2024

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task achievement

To improve your task response, make sure your essay responds directly and fully to the prompt. Your current essay deviates from the given task about punishment in teaching children right and wrong, to discussing gender equality, which affects the task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

Improve your essay’s coherence and cohesion by ensuring each paragraph logically follows the previous one and is clearly connected. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Develop your main points more fully with specific examples and evidence. This would strengthen the task achievement and coherence of your essay.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay begins with an attempt to introduce the topic and acknowledges different viewpoints.

logical structure

The essay shows an attempt to structure ideas into distinct paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays people research their family history, some people say this is useless and we should instead focus on present and future generations. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

More and more people are shifting to a plant based diet. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative change?