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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.
#percentage #participation #women #management #three #companies
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The table depicts
a
Correct article usage
the
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 proportion of females in
senior
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a senior
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 management
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
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 in three different
enterprices
Correct your spelling
enterprises
, namely - Eldan
Ltd
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, Bamforth
Ltd
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 and Finsbury
Ltd
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, from 1975 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is pretty noticeable that both, Eldan and Bamforth
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Ltd's
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Ltd
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, had only growth in women's number
on
Change preposition
in
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 the senior management's role,
while
Linking Words
 Finsbury
Ltd
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 was unstable
due to
Linking Words
 increases and decreases.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Eldan
Ltd
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 and Bamforth
Ltd
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 had the percentage of women at 3 per cent and 9 per
cents
Fix the agreement mistake
cent
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 in 1975, respectively. Both companies experienced
relatively
Correct article usage
a relatively
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 smooth climb till 2000, reaching 33% and 17%, correspondingly, though
in
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apply
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2015 was a period of
a
Remove the article
apply
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huge growth
for
Change preposition
of
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 approximately 30% for each company. Meanwhile, Finsbury
Ltd
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 started
on
Change preposition
at
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 the highest point, which is 16%,
Linking Words
besides
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apply
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in the following years number of female senior managers
was jumping
Wrong verb form
jumped
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 and
falling
Wrong verb form
fell
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for
Change preposition
by
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 about 5%, reaching 26% at maximum in 2015.
Submitted by dinazhumanova2001 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ltd with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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