IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people today use their phones to communicate by sending text messages than talking. What are the reasons for this? Does it have more advantages than disadvantages?

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Nowadays, many people
use
Use synonyms
 phones all the
time
Use synonyms
 at home or even in their workplace, actually, there are positive and negative causes to
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of mobiles,
such
Linking Words
 as when someone lives in another
country
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 to study or even for a job, on the one hand, some people are so busy can not talk with there friends or family they think will lost
time
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.
However
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,
also
Linking Words
 many things have drawbacks like
influence
Wrong verb form
influencing
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 their health,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
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 they will separate
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their family in the same home. So in advantages, a lot of students study outside their
country
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 they miss their family and their friends so they text them in messages and talk with them even make jokes,
on the other hand
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, some workers
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 in the same
country
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 but they busier so they
use
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 their phone to check their family and don't
lost
Change the verb form
lose
show examples
time
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 because when they go to talk in real life, they most lost
time
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due to
Linking Words
 talk very much and watch movies so they can not finish their jobs. Regarding, the disadvantages some people
use
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 the phone without a goal, they just play games or talk with friends, in fact, that
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 healthier for their body
due to
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 the headaches they will suffer,
moreover
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 when they
use
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 mobiles in the same house with their family's but they only text in each other not talking or eat together they will
separated
Change the verb form
be separated
separate
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 because everyone in their phones.
To sum up
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, there
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot of things to discuss about it because
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 s huge topic, but we talk about the negative and positive ways of using a phone to text rather than talk in real life,
such
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 as problems with the body or even using it in a good way for a purpose like talk with their family if they work in another
country
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Try to provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas when explaining the reasons for the preference of text messages over phone calls.
task achievement
Introduce more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows from one to the next smoothly, enhancing the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay includes a clear and concise introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages of using phones for texting compared to talking.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a conclusion that summarizes the main points succinctly.
task achievement
The essay provides examples of students and workers benefiting from text messaging, adding relevance to your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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