IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Prevention is better than cure” Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extend do you agree?

#prevention #cure” #diseases #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Preventative health
Use synonyms
programm
Correct your spelling
programs
instead
Linking Words
 of treating and researching has been a vital topic of debate.
Although
Linking Words
governments
Use synonyms
 should implement practical laws in order to invest in preventative
meausures
Correct your spelling
measures
, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 trend and believe that preventative
measures
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 much more better than treatments. First of all,
preventetive
Correct your spelling
preventative
preventive
measures
Use synonyms
 can offer various benefits for both societies and individuals, as a whole, leading to spending
quit
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 less
amounts
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 if
people
Use synonyms
, particularly elderly generations make an effort to take annual
prevent
Replace the word
preventative
show examples
measures
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 approach not only brings a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 can contribute to healthier societies.
For instance
Linking Words
, consider an old man, who tends to take his preventative
measures
Use synonyms
 regularly,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 he might live longer and healthier.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
realease
Correct your spelling
release
 some diseases
such
Linking Words
 as
canser
Correct your spelling
cancer
 in the earlier years, it can lead to detrimental consequences.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, treatments and extensive
researchers
Replace the word
research
show examples
 require excessive
amounts
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
, leading to financial strains for both
people
Use synonyms
 and
governments
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, if
governments
Use synonyms
 invest in preventative
Use synonyms
programm
Correct your spelling
programs
, it will result in
saving
Correct article usage
a saving
show examples
 financial budget. A prime illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is the period of covid 19
pandomic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
 when
governments
Use synonyms
forced
Add a missing verb
were forced
show examples
 to invest extra
amounts
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 in health sectors in order to treat and control the
pandomic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
, so if there was a practical way to prevent the influx of the disease, many
people
Use synonyms
 would alive now.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the more
money
Use synonyms
 the government invests in preventative
Use synonyms
programm
Correct your spelling
programs
, the less budget
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 will devote
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 treatment
measures
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there are various opinions about preventative and treatment
programms
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
.
Although
Linking Words
 treatment programmes are essential in societies, preventative
measures
Use synonyms
 can help both
people
Use synonyms
 and
governments
Use synonyms
 spend less
amounts
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 and budget. I strongly agree with preventative
Use synonyms
programm
Correct your spelling
program
measures
Use synonyms
 and believe that
this
Linking Words
 trend can result in various benefits ranging from financial to health benefits.
Submitted by mahanz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by linking ideas more smoothly and clearly to improve the overall coherence of your essay. For example, use more transitional phrases and ensure each paragraph clearly connects to the thesis statement.
task achievement
Your essay covers all parts of the task, but to achieve a higher level, strive to develop ideas in more depth. This could involve not just mentioning benefits but explaining their significance in more detail.
task achievement
Ensure specific examples are directly related and clearly explained. The references you made were relevant but could have been expanded with more specific details and context.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively presents your viewpoint, engaging the reader and clearly stating your position.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes your argument, reinforcing the main points and your position on the issue.
task achievement
You have successfully identified some relevant points in support of investing in preventative measures over treatment, showing clear task understanding.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive care
  • prevalence
  • healthcare budgets
  • public health campaigns
  • healthy lifestyles
  • long-term benefits
  • early detection
  • intervention
  • severe stages
  • accessibility
  • public compliance
  • unpredictability
  • ethical considerations
  • resource allocation
  • lifestyle diseases
  • mitigate
  • global disparities
  • high-income countries
  • low-income countries
What to do next:
Look at other essays: