Today more and more trourists are visiting places where conditions are different, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit places?

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Nowadays, many tourists are
traveling
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travelling
show examples
Use synonyms
places
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to places
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where conditions are different.There are both merits and demerits, and I think that the benefits are greater than the drawbacks.
To begin
Linking Words
with, not all aspects are beneficial.
Firstly
Linking Words
,there
are
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is
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less information about new
places
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. Many
people
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visit
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new
places
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to
travel
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but they
did
Wrong verb form
do
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not have enough information so it could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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encourage danger.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who
visit
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
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desert
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or the
Antarctic
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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need a lot of money to
travel
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.
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Sahara
Correct article usage
The Sahara
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desert
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or the
Antarctic
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are very rare
places
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to
travel
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so if they want to
visit
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there they need to spend a lot of money
for
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on
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tour
product
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products
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.
However
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,
advantages
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the advantages
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are greater than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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.First of all, they can experience a new environment.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of
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apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
did
Wrong verb form
do
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not experience like
Sahara
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desert
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or the
Antarctic
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so if they
travel
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there it can be
memorable
Add an article
a memorable
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experience.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
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who
visit
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places
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where conditions are different
with
Change preposition
from
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they
Rephrase
where they
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live
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can help to perspective on the world.
Lot
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A lot
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of
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
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is different with they live so they can increase their knowledge about
people
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who live in
Use synonyms
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
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desert
Use synonyms
or
Use synonyms
Antarctic
Correct article usage
the Antarctic
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how
Correct word choice
and how
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can they
servive
Correct your spelling
survive
service
on
Change preposition
in
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hot or cold weather. In conclusion,
Linking Words
although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
should
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
places
Use synonyms
where
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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are different.
Thus
Linking Words
,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
are greater than the drawbacks.
Submitted by yskim3064 on

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task achievement
Expand on points with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
Clarify transitions between ideas to improve logical flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses both benefits and drawbacks of visiting unusual locations, showing a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
The introduction presents the topic clearly, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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