IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

#countries #laws #limit #hours #employees #development
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There is no denying the fact that all employees struggle with working
hours
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.
In addition
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, some countries don’t have limited
hours
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.
As a result
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, they have been starting to apply lower
hours
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 to support employees in a positive way,
while
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 some institutions oppose that.
This
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 essay will analyze both topics from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, those who support reducing working
hours
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 know the quality of
work
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 doesn’t depend on how many
hours
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 they have.
In other words
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, if the
hours
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 were 6
hours
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 daily, the employee would know how to divide the
hours
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in addition
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.
For example
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, staying at
work
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 for 10
hours
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, which means half your day, is too much and exhausts the employee, too.
On the other hand
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, the institutions that oppose that think that if the working
hours
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 are compressed, the employee will
work
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 as fast as possible to finish his
work
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 only. It is
also
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 possible to say that they have Fears related to the quality of
work
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. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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. I tend to believe that, without a doubt, I tend the second opinion, because I am already employed and I know I can do my tasks in a shorter time even with better quality.
Submitted by reemabdullah395 on

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coherence cohesion
You have introduced the topic and provided a reasonable conclusion. However, focus on providing a clearer structure to your essay by ensuring each paragraph is clearly aligned with a single main point.
task achievement
To achieve a complete task response, focus on expanding the argument in favor of the laws and addressing potential counterarguments more explicitly.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points, which can help add depth and provide clarity to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay benefits from a clear introduction and conclusion, but work on enhancing the fluidity between paragraphs to better showcase the logical progression of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have clearly stated your stance, which helps to clarify the direction of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have attempted to approach the task from multiple perspectives, which demonstrates a well-rounded understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
What to do next:
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