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Band 7.5

he charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Write at least 150 word

he charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Write at least 150 word
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The bar charts provide key information related to details for the percentages of males and females aged 60-64 who have been working, in 1970
besides
Linking Words
 2000, in different countries including Belgium, the United States,
Japan
Use synonyms
, and Australia. The unit is used in the measure ratio.
Overall
Linking Words
, it’s clear from the graph that, the fractions of men were the highest across the specified 2
years
Use synonyms
, especially in 1970 the number of employed men exceeded in 2000.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the women were the lower through the two
years
Use synonyms
. The men in
Japan
Use synonyms
 had a noticeable highest representing 76% in 1970 after 30
years
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 rose to make up 84%,
moreover
Linking Words
, Australia had a significant change in both
years
Use synonyms
, which accounted for 74% in 1970, had a noticeable decrease in 2000 to be the half, followed by USA. In Belgium had started at nearly 80%, surprisingly in 200f drop to the quarter. In terms of women, obviously, in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and the United States, the distribution was almost similar to each other with a slight increase in
Japan
Use synonyms
. Followed By Australia.
Finally
Linking Words
, the least was in Belgium.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, years with synonyms.
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