In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There are two ways of working in some countries. One is working from
home
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, and the second is working in an
office
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.
Although
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working from
home
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gives people
flexibility
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, working in an
office
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provides discipline.
On the other hand
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, working from
home
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offers employees
flexibility
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.
This
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allows for greater
flexibility
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in scheduling, enabling them to better integrate work and personal responsibilities
such
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as childcare, errands, and appointments.
For example
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,it is proved that working from
home
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allows parents to manage both work and childcare effectively.
Therefore
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, working from
home
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can be beneficial. On the one hand, working at an
office
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can be good for a different reason.The main reason is that, if employees work at the
office
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, they will have discipline.
Furthermore
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, an
office
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environment provides a structured routine, establishing clear start and end times. Employees are
also
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consistently monitored by management, contributing to greater effort efficiency.
For example
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, a 2017 experiment in UK companies showed that when
department
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departments
show examples
worked in offices, 90% experienced increased efficiency and established routines.
Thus
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for these reasons, it could play an important for companies. In conclusion, working from
home
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offers
flexibility
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but I personally think that
,
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apply
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working in an
office
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is preferable
due to
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its emphasis on discipline.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence, consider using more linking words to connect ideas smoothly and improve the flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
While the essay presents a balanced view, expanding on the examples given could strengthen the argument further.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the stage for the discussion and summarizing effectively.
task achievement
The contrasting views on working from home and office work are well-presented, offering a balanced discussion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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