IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

*Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. *Why might this be the case? *What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#*nowadays #people #work #company #organisation #*why #be #case #*what
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For many recent
decades
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decades,
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 people
tende
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tend
 to be
self-empolyed
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self-employed
 rather than traditional
appropach
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approach
 of working. Currently, human beings instigated their own business as
this
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 could ensure more flexibility and creativity
of
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in
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 the work. From
this
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precpective
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perspective
, advocates
to
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of
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this
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 view may argue about the potential
benifits
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benefits
 of
ealy
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early
 exposure to the market and its
long run
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long-run
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 advantages.
However
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, many negative consequences could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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arised
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arise
 from
self- operation
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self-operation
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especailly
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especially
 for
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a comapny
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comapny
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company
 with scarce resources. The essay will
discussess
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discuss
discusses
 the possible risks of transforming
bussiness
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business
 into personal
bussiness
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business
 and will shed the
lights
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light
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about
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on
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 the ways which are perilous on that matter. First of all, different sectors have been
devloped
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developed
 with
a an
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apply
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abundant vocations. Some
related
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are related
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 to
governoments
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governments
government
 and others to private sectors which
has
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have
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coverd alomst
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covered almost
 entirely all kinds of jobs. Given the ab
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure essays have a clear and logical structure. Outline and organize your thoughts before writing to improve coherence and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review your introduction to clearly state your intention and briefly mention the main points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide more organic transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Avoid abrupt shifts in ideas.
Task Achievement
Fully address both parts of the question to ensure you have a complete response. Make sure to elaborate on the reasons why people choose self-employment and its disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and help attain a higher score.
Task Achievement
The essay introduces a relevant topic and begins to explore the reasons behind the preference for self-employment.
Task Achievement
You have a good understanding of the potential benefits and risks of self-employment, as evidenced by your exploration of flexibility, creativity, and scarce resources.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction is fairly engaging, drawing the reader into the topic of self-employment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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