Some people believe the unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood of teaching sports to younger children).
Some people have a view that volunteering in
community
services should be a core course curriculum in all senior high schools. Use synonyms
Students
can involve in activities like charity, improve the Use synonyms
neighborhood
and teach sports to the children. Change the spelling
neighbourhood
However
, I disagree with Linking Words
this
statement, because giving additional activities can lead pupils to be overwhelmed.
Since the majority of senior high school Linking Words
students
focus on preparing for University, working on voluntary programmes is not necessary. Most of the Use synonyms
students
spend their time in the school's activities, Use synonyms
moreover
have time for socialization and doing their hobbies are an essential part Linking Words
in
their age. Change preposition
of
For
Linking Words
instance
the Add a comma
instance,
last
grade student mostly has an additional course after school time. Linking Words
Thus
, adding a mandatory subject could increase their stress and will impact to academic Linking Words
performances
.
Fix the agreement mistake
performance
Furthermore
, volunteering should lead to the willingness of every student. Several Linking Words
students
choose to work in Use synonyms
community
service as an extracurricular to gain Use synonyms
experiences
, Fix the agreement mistake
experience
therefore
it will be a lesson for them to respect other people. Regarding the LinkedIn survey, having experience Linking Words
as
volunteering is an added value Correct word choice
apply
of
the people Change preposition
to
to
hiring in the company. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, some of the Linking Words
students
are competing to join Use synonyms
community
services.
In conclusion, senior high schools should have a partnership with Use synonyms
community
services and encourage their Use synonyms
students
to be involved. It is not a compulsory part but an option for the Use synonyms
students
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Try to make sure that the main points are fully developed with more specific examples or evidence to support your argument. This will strengthen your essay and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas and paragraphs more clearly. Although the essay has a logical structure, the flow between ideas could be smoother by using cohesive devices or transition words more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well. This helps in presenting your argument in a structured manner.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task quite effectively, providing a clear stance and reasoning against making community service compulsory in schools.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?