IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts show the size of classes in primary schools in four states in Australia in 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the size of classes in primary schools in four states in Australia in 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graphs
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the data about
class
Use synonyms
 sizes in primary
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 across all four domains in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 2010. From an
overall
Linking Words
 look, it is manifested that
classes
Use synonyms
 having 21-25
students
Use synonyms
 were predominant in almost every
states
Change to a singular noun
state
show examples
 reported, except for South
Australia
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for
classes
Use synonyms
 with 30
students
Use synonyms
 or more. Delving into
further
Linking Words
deteail
Correct your spelling
detail
details
, it is evident that in New South Wales,
classes
Use synonyms
 with 21-25 learners constituted the largest, with 37%, followed by that with 26-30 people and 20 people or fewer at about 33% and 26% respectively. In the least figure lay
classes
Use synonyms
 with 30 individuals or more. Meanwhile, in South
Australia
Use synonyms
, the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of
classes
Use synonyms
 comprising under 31
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
ranging
Wrong verb form
ranges
show examples
 from 28% to 36%, with
classes
Use synonyms
 having a maximum of 20
students
Use synonyms
 being the most popular. Notably, the figures for the biggest
class
Use synonyms
size
Use synonyms
 in both states were the same, each standing at 4%. Concerning
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Australia
show examples
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 Capital Territory,
classes
Use synonyms
 consisting of 21-25 pupils constituted the majority, at just over half of all the
class
Use synonyms
 sizes listed, compared to 38% of
classes
Use synonyms
 having no more than 20
students
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 was in stark contrast to
classes
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 capacity of 26-30 learners, making up one-tenth of the total, ten times higher than the smallest
class
Use synonyms
size
Use synonyms
. In Western
Australia
Use synonyms
, the main
class
Use synonyms
size
Use synonyms
 was again 21-25 pupils, occupying 42%,
while
Linking Words
 a negligible difference was observed in the proportion of
classes
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
under 20 and 26-30 individuals with figures of 26% and 27%, in that order. In the
last
Linking Words
 position was the largest
class
Use synonyms
size
Use synonyms
, as its share was only 5%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words class, australia, classes, students, size with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary school
  • class size
  • proportion
  • average
  • trends
  • small/medium/large classes
  • implications
  • quality of education
  • teacher workload
  • comparison
  • variance
  • state-by-state analysis
  • education policy
  • statistical representation
  • pie chart interpretation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: