The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Correct your spelling

The

show examples

line graph

illustrate

Correct subject-verb agreement

illustrates

show examples

the average

Australian

Use synonyms

workers

Fix the agreement mistake

worker

show examples

across five industries (Services, Manufacturing, Agriculture, Construction, and Mining) commencing 1962 to 2011.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that most

Use synonyms

Australian

Correct your spelling

Australians

show examples

were interested

to work

Change preposition

in working

show examples

in Services,

while

Linking Words

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

people were interested to work in

agricuture

Correct your spelling

agriculture

, construction, manufacturing, and mining

in particular

Linking Words

. Services

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

were popular among

Australian

Use synonyms

citizens it started with approximately 52%, and started to increase in the following years until it

peak

Wrong verb form

peaked

show examples

at about 80% of workers.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the workforce of manufacturing showed a fluctuation from about 25% in 1962, it moderately fluctuated in 1980 to 20% and started to

rose

Wrong verb form

rise

show examples

in the following years;

however

Linking Words

, it fell down in the

last

Linking Words

year to 10%. Only 11% of

Use synonyms

Australian

Fix the agreement mistake

Australians

show examples

worked in agriculture in 1962, and experienced a decline until 2012 with less than 10% in total.

Furthermore

Linking Words

construction

Correct article usage

the construction

show examples

and mining

companies

Change noun form

companies'

company's

show examples

total proportion remain relatively stable over the given period with less than 10% of workers.

roycelparaiso

Dec 27, 2024

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australian with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

158 words

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The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

It was predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Teachers used to convey information, but now with wide resources of information. some people think that there is no role for teachers to play in modern education others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion?