Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #athletes #role #models #behavior #field #influence

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In the contemporary world, every sector of society likes to watch different games of their choice irrespective of age. Certain groups of people are of the opinion that professional

players

Use synonyms

are the ideal model for teenagers.

However

Linking Words

, others debate that the individual personality of some sportspersons can

also

Linking Words

have a devastating effect. I agree with the former view and I shall support my opinion in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, many young people

likes

Change the verb form

show examples

to follow their

role

Use synonyms

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

and they start playing sports of their favorite person rather than sitting

home

Change preposition

at home

show examples

playing video games or watching phones.

For example

Linking Words

, many

children's

Change noun form

children

show examples

have started playing football after they

have seen

Wrong verb form

saw

show examples

Ronaldo playing on Television or phone. Those

kids

Use synonyms

who

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

hours of their leisure time doing outside

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

have a minute chance of major health issues.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many youngsters start eating healthy food because their stars are on a strict diet plan and to be like them they try to eat as healthy as possible.

Consequently

Linking Words

, I agree that professional

players

Use synonyms

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been a

role

Use synonyms

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

for

kids

Use synonyms

and

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

a positive

role

Use synonyms

in developing their personalities.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some groups who believe that it has a negative impact on teens if their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

players

Use synonyms

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

ground

Correct article usage

the ground

show examples

Change preposition

off

show examples

the ground.

For instance

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

Virat Kohli is on the cricket field he always

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

aggression to his opponents which

infuence

Correct your spelling

influences

kids

Use synonyms

to show anger

while

Linking Words

they are playing any sports.

Eventhough

Correct your spelling

Even

some

Correct word choice

though some

show examples

sportspersons can show their

agression

Correct your spelling

aggression

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

their positive effects on the young generation

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

far more than

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

benefits.

To conclude

Linking Words

, many

kids

Use synonyms

get

infuenced

Correct your spelling

influenced

from

Change preposition

show examples

famous sports stars and have a positive effect on their

followers

Change to a genitive case

follower's

followers'

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

while

Linking Words

there is some drawback that some

players

Use synonyms

being

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

aggressive on the field which

infuence

Correct your spelling

influences

young

children's

Unnecessary verb

children

show examples

Correct article usage

an anegative

show examples

anegative

Correct your spelling

a negative

sense but

overall

Linking Words

professional

players

Use synonyms

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

a vital

role

Use synonyms

in personality development in a positive sense.

Submitted by lovjotsandhu1 on Fri Dec 27 2024

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task achievement

Enhance the elaboration on key points to reach a more comprehensive level of explanation. This will aid in conveying ideas more clearly.

task achievement

Ensure examples are directly relevant and comprehensively explained to strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

Improve the use of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs, enhancing overall flow and coherence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly outlined, clearly addressing the task.

coherence cohesion

Main ideas are effectively organized and mostly supported with relevant examples.

task achievement

The essay engages with both sides of the argument and offers a personal opinion, covering the task requirements adequately.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
determination
discipline
work ethic
community service
charitable activities
poor behavior
unsportsmanlike conduct
media scrutiny
public perception
materialism
physical and mental health issues
impressionable youth
high levels
pursuing sports
positive influence
negative influence

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Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

climate change is the biggest threat facing humanity today and in order to survive as a species we need to act now. to what extent do you agree or disagree

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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.