IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
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The line graph illustrates the total monthly alteration in the
prices
Use synonyms
 of copper,
nickel
Use synonyms
, and zinc in the year 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that there was a fluctuation in the
prices
Use synonyms
 of the three kinds of metals. The
nickel
Use synonyms
 showed the highest average in the beginning;
however
Linking Words
, it significantly dropped in the middle
month
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zinc had the lowest percentage of changes in the starting
month
Use synonyms
 but ended with the highest alteration of
prices
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
month
Use synonyms
 of the year. In detail, the average
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 in the
Use synonyms
prices
Fix the agreement mistake
price
show examples
 of
nickel
Use synonyms
 was 6%, and steadily fluctuated in the following
month
Use synonyms
 until it showed a significant
dropped
Replace the word
drop
show examples
 in June with -3%;
although
Linking Words
 after three months it started to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 steadily at -1% until it saw a slight decrease and manage to climbed again at 1% in the
last
Linking Words
 two months of the year.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the cost of zinc in January was 1%, and increased to 3% in
Use synonyms
month
Add an article
the month
show examples
 of February;
however
Linking Words
, it started to fall for eight months, and the selling price started to change at approximately 2% in December.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the average changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the cost of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nickel
Use synonyms
 saw a fluctuation over the period given with 2% at the beginning of the
month
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 stable in the third quarter
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 1%, ending at approximately less than 2%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words prices, nickel, month with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
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