IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie charts demonstrate the difference between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medium household spending in Japan and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 through 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unmoderated allocation in the average household money used
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 regions. Meanwhile, the
Japanese
Use synonyms
 spent the most on buying food,
while
Linking Words
 the highest family
expenditures
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditure
show examples
 in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 was housing. And the charts showed a similarity between these two countries
is
Correct your spelling
in
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 that they both spent the least on restorative medicine. Looking at the graph in a more detailed view, begin with the middling money used on accommodation for a family, it occupied 21%
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 total spending of
Japanese
Use synonyms
 people,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for expenses of
this
Linking Words
 accounted for 34%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of money which the
Japanese
Use synonyms
 paid for transport was double
this
Linking Words
 in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, which consisted of 10%
total
Change preposition
of total
show examples
 residents’s budgets.
In contrast
Linking Words
, all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two people purchased
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 approximately similar proportion of chow
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
24% and 27% respectively. And the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 percentage of spending in both Japan and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 was
Health-care
Correct your spelling
health care
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 category suggested that the drugs or services
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 ignored by the
Japanese
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysian
Replace the word
Malaysians
show examples
 than others. In terms of
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 items and services, it was responsible for 26% around a quarter of
middling
Correct article usage
the middling
show examples
 domestic outgoing costs of Malaysian
dweller
Fix the agreement mistake
dwellers
show examples
. Equally, 29% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 amount of spending
made
Add a missing verb
is made
show examples
 from other aspects.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, japanese with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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