In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's society,
although
Linking Words
the statistics of serious crimes
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
going down, many individuals feel
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
less secure compared to the past.
They
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
are multiple reasons leading to the mentioned problem and effective measures should be taken, which will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay. In terms of causes, first and foremost, the prevalence of AI technologies enables a number of scams and fosters infringement more than ever. Nowadays, despite the widespread
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high-tech precautions,
such
Linking Words
as security systems, cameras, etc., many citizens are only a call away from getting scammed, and,
consequently
Linking Words
, losing all of their savings in their bank accounts.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in many countries, drug use is
getting
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
more accessible and common than ever. Streets are full of homeless
people
Use synonyms
who are ready to harm anyone to get the money to afford their vital needs, which are drugs.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
have to keep an eye on their
surronding
Correct your spelling
surroundings
surrounding
while
Linking Words
walking in public places
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them feel less safe and anxious.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, government can play an important role in combating crimes and providing safety
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
its citizens. Public awareness campaigns should be run by government parties to educate
people
Use synonyms
about
possible
Correct article usage
the possible
show examples
dangers of AI, modern ways of scamming and stealing, what precautions can be taken to avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
negative consequences and more.
Hence
Linking Words
, society members would be more informed and careful
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and would be able to protect their hard-earned funds.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there should be more regulations towards any type of narcotics intake. First of all, in my opinion, those drugs should not be legal and affordable
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
everyone.
Secondly
Linking Words
, citizens should be educated about
Correct article usage
the disadvantges
show examples
disadvantges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
of drugs and how badly they can impact
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a person's life and health. All of these steps would discourage many individuals from
poisioning
Correct your spelling
poisoning
their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
, and
people
Use synonyms
would feel safer around them.
To conclude
Linking Words
, modern-day crimes mostly stem from
advancement
Add an article
the advancement
show examples
of AI tools and extensive drug use. Their use and impact can be minimized by
active
Add an article
the active
show examples
role of the government with the right methods.
Submitted by laman.nazarovaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points, particularly regarding AI and drug use.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and sophisticated.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and realistic solutions for the problem, considering government actions for both AI-related and drug-related safety issues.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, with clear paragraphs addressing causes and solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • availability heuristic
  • media coverage
  • misinformation
  • urbanization
  • community cohesion
  • justice system
  • economic inequality
  • community policing
  • media literacy
  • surveillance
  • swift justice
  • social cohesion
  • neighborhood watch
  • deterrent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: